


Mario Kart and the Heart of a Sith Lord

by mundanecactus



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Earth Culture References, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Humor, Implied Poe Dameron/Finn, Kylo Ren Redemption, My Chemical Romance References, Poe Dameron Matchmaker Extraordinaire, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22272625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mundanecactus/pseuds/mundanecactus
Summary: Set after The Force Awakens. Kylo Ren has defected from the First Order, but not everyone is convinced he's changed for the better. Will he be doomed to listening to emo music and skulking around the base forever, or will a few trips to Hoth Topic and some help from his X-wingmen help him win Rey's suspicious heart?(This was the first thing I ever wrote at age 17, and as I was writing it, I already knew it was bad. But I love it anyway. Bon appetit.)
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Finn & Kylo Ren & Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You're seventeen, your favorite band is Fall Out Boy, you just got out of seeing The Force Awakens and watched in awe as Adam Driver shook those beautiful curls out of a very goth helmet. You spend the next three months writing this every night in the notes app on your phone, sending it in texts to your friends from band. Somewhere along the way, you get more serious about it than you expected to.

Poe narrowed his eyes, fingers tightening around the controls. He deftly piloted his craft around the obstacles in front of him, noting with satisfaction that he was in the lead. Only a few more seconds and his mission would be complete; he could almost taste victory. The final stretch - if he could just hold steady...

A knock came at the door, quiet and almost seeming to realize its mistake. But it was too late.

Poe's concentration was broken; as he turned to glance at the door, a banana peel appeared from nowhere and caused his cart to spiral wildly out of control. The cart lost speed and continued to spin, passed on all sides by the other racers. Poe wrestled with the controller, desperately trying to save his perfect run. No use; the cart sailed gracefully off the edge of the Rainbow Road.

Dropping the controller stiffly, Poe slowly turned to look at the door. His eyes flashed as though he was trying to burn through the steel and the poor knocker on the other side. Woe be to the fool who interrupted Mario Kart Night.

Finn sat quietly on the couch, knowing better than to try to intercept his incensed friend. Poe, who took very little seriously in his day-to-day life, could not be more serious when it came to video games. Though both Finn and Poe had only begun playing a few weeks ago, Finn had quickly learned that to beat Poe at any game was to open oneself up to any number of pranks and means of petty retribution for the next week. After a particularly brutal defeat at Call of Duty (Finn's experience with Stormtrooper battle simulations lent him mad skills when it came to first-person shooters), Poe resorted to communicating not through words but through reassigning Finn to garbage compactor cleanout in the base's computer system for three days. Finn's run-in with an unidentified tentacle quickly convinced him to remove COD from the game lineup.

***

The whole video game business began shortly after Finn had joined the Resistance. Barracks on D'Qar were surprisingly roomy; each suite consisted of one to three bedrooms centered around a small common area. A transfer had left Poe's second bedroom empty, and who better to move in than the Resistance's newest gunner, Finn? The two quickly determined that their common room was lacking a certain level of awesomeness, and so decided to spend their days off trawling Outer Rim planets for cheap finds. Two futons, a food rehydrator, an old viewscreen and sound system, and several beanbags later, the new common room was nearly complete. 

However, something was missing. Finn found it one day in a market on a backwater forest planet. "What's a... wih?" he asked the vendor, carefully pulling a beat-up whitish box out of a tub of wires. 

"Ah, yes, the Wii," stated the clerk, sagely rubbing her many pairs of hands together. "An ancient relic. Apparently, it can be attached to a viewscreen, and, with these metal discs, provides some sort of entertainment." 

"How much?" asked Finn, pulling what appeared to be cases full of the metal discs from the box. 

"Forty credits," said the vendor with a gleam in her eye. 

"We'll take it for thirty," stated Poe, sauntering over from his inspection of what appeared to be lamps containing lava. 

"Sold!" trilled the shopkeeper, opening her arms in a conciliatory gesture. "Enjoy your purchase!"

Poe found a technician to help them wire the Wii up to the viewscreen, and within the first few minutes of creating a character in Skyrim, they fell in love with the world of video games. Finn fought zombies between guard shifts, and Poe could always be found playing with his Sim family after long flights. Mario Kart was undeniably their favorite, though. Each Thursday night, Poe would swipe a pizza from the mess hall and rehydrate it; Finn would clean up the previous week's dirty clothes and gear in preparation for the big night. Sometimes Rey would come, if she could get away from her apprenticeship long enough, and they would eat pizza and play Mario Kart long into the night. It was sacred, this custom. Nobody interrupted Mario Kart Night. Until someone did.

***

Poe stalked over to the door. Finn followed cautiously behind, ready to intervene if Poe tried to throttle their visitor. Poe stopped; turned to Finn. "Find out who it is," he said, crossing his arms and pursing his lips. Finn crossed to the door with an eye on Poe, then turned to look through the peephole. He gasped. "Well?" asked Poe impatiently. 

"You're not gonna...well...I guess you'll just have to see," said Finn, opening the door.

A tall, dark haired man stood in the doorway. By all respects, his long black robes and the gleaming hilt of his lightsaber should have inspired terror, intimidation; instead, Kylo Ren couldn't have looked more like a kicked puppy if he tried. Poe's expression immediately shifted from one of rage to slight disgust - he refused to give Ren the pleasure of any sort of reaction. "Um...hi, Ren. Can we do anything for you?" asked Finn, trying to defuse the situation. As a fellow defector, Finn understood Ren's position better than anyone else on the base, although killing Han Solo in cold blood was a little tricky to empathize with. But if General Organa trusted him, then who was Finn to doubt the man's loyalty? 

"Well. Yes. As it happens, I was in the area, and I just thought. Ahem." Kylo stammered, seemingly unwilling to divulge the reason for his visit or to step over the threshold. "I, you, I was hoping to ask your advice on a certain... Oh, what's the point. I desperately need your help."

Finn stared in surprise. He had never seen Ren show any sort of emotion other than anger, and yet here he was, not only "desperately" needing advice, but...were those tears in his eyes? Perhaps his pride was stung by admitting he needed help from people who had quite recently been his mortal enemies. Finn kindly guided the taller man into the room and sat him down on the nicer of the two futons, taking a seat opposite on the futon with the suspicious bloodstain. Poe, meanwhile, grumpily slammed the door and moved to hover on Finn's left; arms crossed, eyebrows lowered. Kylo averted his eyes from those of the angry pilot, instead choosing to address his story to the toes of his shiny black boots. "Well?" prompted Finn, curious to learn the reason for the highly irregular situation he now found himself in. 

"Okay," began Kylo, speaking carefully in a monotone, as though by paying attention to his manner of speaking he could distance himself from the actual words. "So, as you know, I've been here for about three weeks, and, um, yeah. I'm having a bit of a problem, uh, with... uh, with Rey."

If Poe had been a Wookie, Finn was sure that all his hair would be standing on end. Since they had met, the three young adults - the Jedi-in-training, the star pilot, and the Stormtrooper-turned-gunner - had been inseparable. They considered one another family. For Ren to strut his way into Mario Kart Night, sit himself down in Poe's spot on Poe's futon and complain about his friend was an insult too grievous to bear. Poe unconsciously took a step forward, and, sensing the threat despite his emotional turmoil, Kylo threw up his hand as if to freeze Poe in place with the Force. Realizing his mistake, Kylo dropped his hand with a look of horror on his face. "I'm so sorry. I'm so used to... Anyway." Poe grimaced and backed off to a somewhat safer distance.

"Go on," said Finn. He, unlike Poe, had detected a note of bittersweetness in the way Ren had mentioned their friend, and was dying to know what problem could possibly generate that kind of response from the usually stoic Knight of Ren. 

"Well, the thing is, so, you guys know she's not around a lot." Rey's apprenticeship to Luke Skywalker necessitated that she travel to Ahch-To for days at a time, but luckily her role as a mechanic for the Resistance gave her leeway to come back to base. "But whenever she is, uh, around, I can't stop thinking about her," Kylo continued, running a hand through his hair. "I can always feel her presence, and I keep finding myself bumping into her in the halls and stuff and, ugh..." Ren buried his face in his hands, trailing off with a groan. 

"Well, I'm sorry, Sith Lord, but we can't help you with all your fancy Force stuff. Why don't you go on back to your Darkness and try and find some answers? Somewhere far away!" Poe spat, turning his attention to determining whether or not the last piece of pizza was still worthy of consumption. He decided it was. 

"It's got nothing to do with the Force or any of that stuff," mumbled Kylo through his gloves. "I think... I think I'm in love."

Uproar. Finn, who had been standing up to grab himself a soda, tripped over an end table and went crashing down onto a hibernating BB-8, who woke with an undignified shriek and careened straight into a wall. Poe choked on his pizza and toppled over the back of the futon, landing face-first on the suspicious bloodstain. Hearing the commotion, Kylo looked up from wallowing in self-pity and expensive leather to see what had seemed before like a perfectly nice room descend into anarchy.

"Are you out of your mind?" Finn sat up, wondering if he had heard Ren correctly. "Why don't you go try and date someone who'd like you more? For frick's sake, Chewbacca likes you better than Rey does! And he shot you!" 

A flush spread across Kylo's thin face. "I know, I know! I'm doomed. But I can't help it. I need your advice." 

"Geez..." groaned Finn, rubbing the bump developing on his forehead where he had hit the floor. "I dunno, man. I don't have a whole lot of experience with dating, but I'd say that your chances with Rey are approximately nil. Maybe you should just try and move on?"

"NO."

Finn and Kylo both jumped at the forceful proclamation, and turned to look at the figure that had uttered it. Poe clumsily raised himself from his prone position on the futon and wiped the remains of his pizza off his face with the back of his hand. He raised himself to his full height and despite his disheveled appearance, he cut an imposing figure. "Ren. I hate you. You're rude, you're actively evil, and your fashion sense is rough at best." Kylo opened his mouth to object, but Poe silenced him with an imperious finger. "And yet. AND YET. I will help you. Yes, in a gesture of goodwill and peacemaking, I will donate to you the services of Poe "Cupid" Dameron." 

"Wai-wai-wai-wai-wait." objected Finn, rising off the couch. "Firstly, you said that nickname like it was something to be proud of. Secondly, how the hell are you planning to set Sith-boy here up with sweet, kind, death-grudge-holding Rey?"

"Exactly!" Poe pointed at Finn like he had just discovered the secrets of the Force and began to pace. "Grudge holding! Love isn't about the past or about interests or even about whether or not the two people like each other! It's about basic compatibility of personality! And look at Rey! Sure, she's a paragon of goodness and light à la the Jedi of old, but underneath she's a ball of fire! She's got passion! That grudge holding? Anger! Now, passion, anger, not to mention Force-use and good hairstyle choices? Who's this sound like?"

"Leia?" "Luke Skywalker?" "Admiral Ackbar?"

Poe smacked his forehead. "This is gonna be harder than I thought. YOU, REN, YOU DUMBASS. At the core, you and Rey are the same! And that's why I see it! That's why I ship it! That's why I'm gonna help you."

"Thank you," said Kylo, eyes suspiciously bright again. 

"Finn, go to the cafeteria and see if you can't scrounge up anything for us to eat. We'll need the fuel." Poe bounded over to Kylo and pulled him to his feet by the front of his robes. "You, over here." Grabbing a tablet, Poe shoved Kylo onto the sketchy futon (Kylo managed to miss the bloodstain as he fell) and sat down beside him, stylus in hand. "Rey comes back tomorrow. Before then, we're gonna work out a comprehensive plan to woo her. I swear on my honor as a matchmaker, Ren. You two will be together in two months, tops. I believe in you," he added, poking Kylo in the chest with the stylus. 

"Alright. I got insta-noodles, blue milk, and several boxes of Space-Scout cookies," Finn said as he strode back into the room and dropped his armload onto the coffee table. 

"Jackpot!" Poe grabbed a box of Samoas and continued scrawling notes. "So, Ren. Tell me about yourself." 

"There'th not mush to tell," said Kylo with a mouth full of Thin Mints. "What thort of thing do you want?" 

"Stuff that Finn and I can use to talk you up in front of Rey. Like, what are you good at? Impressive accomplishments? That stuff." 

"Hmm. Well, I'm good at the Force and all that. Don't mean to brag, but I've got pretty mean lightsaber skills. That you've seen. While I was trying to...nevermind."

"Can you shoot? Can you fly?" asked Poe, tapping his nose with the stylus. "Rey loves to fly, and I'm sure we could work something out there." 

"Can I fly?" scoffed Kylo, a hint of his usual arrogant self reappearing. "You're talking to Han Solo's...yeah. Don't you worry. I can fly all right." 

"Okay then. Force-user extraordinaire, fighting skills beyond compare, can fly..." Poe raised an eyebrow. "...all right, voluminous hair, has an 8-pack, etc. Here you are, Finn." Poe sent a copy of the list to Finn's datapad. "Remember, subtle. Now, for lover boy."

Poe turned quickly before Kylo could react and threw his arm around the other man's shoulders. "The art of flirting," said the pilot dramatically, staring into the middle distance and gesturing with his free hand, "is complex and only mastered after years of training. We've got like two hours. So here are the Dameron school's rules of HOW TO FLIRT. Ready?" 

"No." 

"All right, here we go. Step one," Poe now picked his datapad back up and began writing as he spoke. "Excuses to talk. I don't care what you're talking about, just let the girl know you know she's there and want to say things to her. The attention is flattering. Fallback topics of conversation: her apprenticeship, the latest battle, the weather. Try to avoid talking about times you've tried to kill her."

Kylo grimaced. "Since that's just about the only type of interaction we've had, that's gonna be a little rough." 

"Step two!" continued Poe, ignoring Kylo's protests. "Incidental contact! This is essential if you want to avoid landing yourself in the friend zone. Allow me to demonstrate. Finn!"

"WhuhIwasn'tsleeping!" Finn started and jumped to his feet. "Finn, you be Rey and I'll be Ren," Poe said, positioning Finn in the middle of the room. "You ready? Watch carefully - this is an advanced maneuver." Kylo leaned forward unconsciously, hoping to glean any knowledge he could from Poe's obviously superior experience. "So I'm walking, I'm walking, I walk by Rey, and I JUST brush her hand with mine. I don't mention it. I just keep going." 

"Man, Poe, you're a master of this stuff! Where'd you learn all this?" asked Finn, looking at his hand like it had been touched by an angel. 

"Well," Poe thrust his chest out and stuck his thumbs in his belt loops. "I don't mean to brag, but I've always been a favorite with the ladies. And the gentlemen. And the non-gendered non-humanoid sentient blobs. Unfortunately. It's all about confidence, boys. Confidence, mystery, and caring about your target. I think that'll tide you over for a bit, Ren. Start with step one for a week or so and then occasionally, oh so occasionally, a slight brush of the arm, a tap on the shoulder instead of calling her name. I guarantee this will work." 

"And don't worry, Kylo!" said Finn with a smile. "We'll help you out and plant the seed in Rey's mind. We got you!" Poe threw his arm around Kylo. "We'll be your wingmen, Ren! Your X-wing-men!" The corners of Kylo's mouth turned up ever-so-slightly in what might have been called a smile. "Maybe this wasn't a tragic mistake after all..." he thought as he bode the two men farewell and slipped through the quiet base back to his quarters.


	2. Chapter 2

"So, uh, how's your apprenticeship going?" The sudden voice seemed far too loud in the otherwise quiet mess hall, and Rey was slightly startled to hear him speak at all. Normally Ren seemed to avoid her, though with her budding Force sensitivity she could occasionally feel his mind reach out and rake across her consciousness. It was irritating, but from what Luke had said, it was a habit that all Force-users developed; almost a safety mechanism, checking those in the vicinity for harmful intentions. Other than these brief moments of contact, however, Ren only spoke to her when necessary - on a mission, or to relay instructions. He had never engaged in ... small talk? Rey cleared her throat; the sound seemed to echo in the cafeteria, empty but for the two of them. 

"It's...good. I'm, um, learning a lot - I've almost got presence-sensing down, and all the kinetic stuff is pretty easy. Master Luke is going right by the book, old-timey Jedi style, so a lot of the fun stuff doesn't come till later, but it's alright." 

"Um, if you want, I could help you with some of that, uh, fun stuff? I know, like, it's important for you to stay on the light side, but I'm pretty sure that I could show you how to do mind tricks and that kind of thing without anything dark. Just, you know, if you want." Ren turned slightly, allowing his bangs to fall and cover his eyes. 

"Errr...well, the thing is, Ren, I'm apprenticed to Master Luke, and I probably shouldn't do anything that would mess with my training, and I want to be really careful about the dark side - you probably wouldn't understand - so just...sorry, but I think I have to decline." 

"Oh. Yeah. I understand. Yeah." Ren's face betrayed no sort of reaction, hidden as it was by his hair. Rey went back to her meal, slightly discomfited. What sort of ulterior motive could Ren have? It wasn't like he just went around offering tutoring willy-nilly. In fact, just about all he ever did was scowl and talk strategy with the higher-ups. And even with them he never said more than a few words. Maybe he hadn't left the dark side behind yet. Maybe he was trying to get her to join him! That bastard! Maybe --

"Would you quit it?!" shouted Rey, pressing her fingers to her temples. Ren just about fell out of his chair, and she would have laughed at the startled expression on her face if she weren't so annoyed. 

"What? What did I do?" asked Ren with - was that a blush? - spreading across his cheeks. 

"The Force-sweeping-mind-checky thing! You're driving me up a wall! Every two seconds! It's like nails on a chalkboard!"

The slight tinge of color in the pale man's face deepened to a bright red. "Oh, I -- sorry, I'm not used to, uh, what I mean to say is, I was just -- old habits, you know, and, uh, I don't mean to, or, sorry. I won't do it again." 

"Ugh. Thank you," said Rey, squeezing her eyes shut. Hopefully that would be the end of her unwanted brushes with Kylo Ren. Opening her eyes a few moments later, she found herself alone, with nothing more than a slightly askew chair and a few muffin crumbs to show that there had been anyone there at all.

***

"Yeah, I've got no idea what's going on. I went out on patrol in the woods and what do I see? There's loads of scorch marks on the rocks, and a couple of trees are cut right down. Mark my words, it's that Sith kid. All that stuff about the Force, it's all mumbo-jumbo. Jedi, Sith, I don't trust the lot of 'em." 

"The scavenger girl seems nice, though. She's quite handy with a wrench, I can tell you that. And General Organa trusts the other one." 

"Don't care. They're both crazy, those two. Give me a blaster any day. Especially if that kid starts trying to slash up anything inside."

***

"REY!" 

Rey turned around just in time to field a tackle-hug from the ever-enthusiastic Finn. "Hi, Finn!" she said, trying to pull some air back into her lungs. 

Finn released her from the death grip and held her at arms' length, beaming. "So, how's it going? Have you learned how to, you know, do mind tricks and levitate and become invisible and..." 

"Woah, woah, woah," laughed Rey, cutting him off. "First of all, I've only been away for five days. And second, where did you hear that Jedi could turn invisible? Are you sure you're not just making all this up?" 

Finn opened his mouth to retort indignantly, but was interrupted by a sudden Poe, who sprinted over, grabbed Rey, and tried to put her in a headlock. Unfortunately for him, he was used to taller opponents and Rey easily turned his attack back on him. "Hey, hey, geez! Watch the hair! Man, what are they feeding you over on Ahch-To?" 

Rey groaned, releasing Poe. "Nothing but potatoes! I have no idea how that man survived on that island for Force-knows-how-long. His cooking is abominable." 

Finn gathered his two friends into his arms. "Well, I think I've got a solution to that. Piiiiiiiizza, anyone?" 

"PLEASE." 

Rey started forward down the hall, dragging the other two with her. "Oh my gosh, you're not gonna believe what happened this morning, guys. So I'm just eating in the cafeteria, minding my own business, right? It's like 5:00 since I got in so early - by the way I'm gonna be brutally ship-lagged, just warning - and like nobody's around. Except - get this - Kylo Ren. You know, just casting his usual dark pall within a 15 foot radius. And then, he starts talking to me! What do you make of that?"

Poe looked sharply at Finn, who looked as though he was just remembering the previous night's work. Fortunately, Rey was too preoccupied with her story to notice the exchange of significant looks through which Poe was trying to communicate with Finn. Despite the fact that rapidly raising and lowering his eyebrows was obviously Poe's signal to start uptalking Kylo, Finn just looked more confused than ever. Poe rolled his eyes. Guess it was up to him again.

"...I told you about that thing he does, right? Anyway, I finally let him have it and gosh! The look on his face! Guess he doesn't like to get caught being badly behaved. Poor wittle Kywo." Rey laughed. "So what do you guys think of THAT?" 

"Well." started Poe, rapidly searching for some sort of positive spin he could put on Kylo's awkwardness. "Maybe he's just interested in what you think? I dunno why he wouldn't just ask, but honestly, he's not all that bad. He's actually pretty funny if you can get him to relax a little." 

"Geez, what happened while I was gone?" Rey looked sharply at Poe. "Last I heard, you hated that guy!" 

Poe assumed a careful smile. "Oh, you know, live and let live. Forgiveness and all that." 

"Whatever you say. I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet. And now you owe me a cookie to win back my good mood. I'd rather not interact with Ren at all." Rey turned forward just in time to miss Poe's and Finn's shared wince.

***

"WHAT?" Rey stared in shock at her master, who looked back at her steadily, arms folded. "I'm... not sure I heard you right, Master. You want me to train with... Kylo Ren?" 

Luke smiled gently. "Only for your lightsaber training. I'm not as young as I used to be, and if Be-- if Kylo is anything like he was when I trained him, then one of his greatest talents is swordplay. If you are to be able to successfully oppose the First Order, you have to be able to fight like them. And with his extensive training in so many of the fighting arts, Kylo is an invaluable resource."

"But, but Master. Do we know if we can trust him? He's committed atrocity after atrocity in the past, he refuses to give up that name and his ties to the Dark Side, and for crying out loud he murdered his own father!" 

Luke's brow furrowed. "Rey, the path to the Dark Side is through hatred, and continuing to hold these grudges is only hurting you. Kylo's continued closeness with the Dark Side is... unfortunate, but he seems to have it well under control. Leia trusts him, and from what I have heard she has good reason to do so. We cannot continue to push him away, because one day he might stop trying to join us and could return to the First Order. I do not foresee that happening, but any effort made towards kindness on your part will be added insurance. Plus, it will not hurt you to spend time with another Force-user - from why I understand, Kylo has powers the likes of which I have never seen. I am curious to see what we both have to learn from him." 

"I'm sorry, but I still --" 

"No more, Rey." An edge had crept into Luke's tone, which warned Rey off pursuing the subject any longer. "Bring this message to Kylo; it contains a rough idea of what I'd like him to teach you. If he refuses, refer him to me. However, I don't think he'll give you any trouble." Luke smiled mysteriously. Rey sighed and took the paper from Luke's hand. The Jedi turned and walked out of his hut, disappearing from view in a swirl of windblown robes. Rey grumpily shoved the message in her pocket and began to sullenly gnaw at one of Luke's "baked" potatoes, dreading her return to the Resistance base.

***

"Hey, Ren!" Rey shouted to the figure she knew to be him on the hangar bridge below her. It was fairly easy to spot Ren in a crowd, seeing as he stood several inches taller than most and was the only person around wearing that much black. Ren looked up to find the source of the noise, only to find Rey dropping down neatly in front of him. She was a strong climber from her days as a scavenger, and the look of surprise on people's faces as she entered a conversation from above was priceless.

"Here. A message from Master Luke." Rey crossed her arms and watched Ren carefully for his reaction. 

However, he kept his face neutral, frustrating Rey. "Well. This says we're to start immediately, and I'm sure that -" Ren scowled "- strategy can get along just fine without my presence." Ren looked down at Rey, and Rey looked defiantly back. "Alright then. Follow me." Ren turned in a swirl of robes and set off towards his quarters, with Rey in pursuit. They made for an amusing sight, the Knight striding along with the girl moving as quickly as her much shorter legs could carry her without giving him the satisfaction of seeing her run.

"Home sweet home." Ren smirked as he swiped his ID and opened the door to his single. Rey looked around, intrigued, but there were few personal touches to shed any light on Ren. The room looked like most standard issue Resistance barracks, neat if slightly austere. (What Rey had not of course seen was Kylo's frantic Force-tidying as they approached the room - shoving the clothes he usually dropped on the floor under the bed and hiding his large collection of hair-care products in the bathroom cabinets. He was in fact engaged with trying to secrete his curling iron under a pile of towels just as they entered the room.) The only distinguishing features of the room were a large pile of books on Ren's bedside table and an ancient, beat-up looking trunk at the foot of his bed. This Ren crossed to and began rifling through, searching for something.

Rey wandered over to the bedside table and began looking at the book titles, interested. "Practical Force Applications for the Advanced Student: Vol 2", "The Art of War", "The Lord of the Rings," and something that looked like - was that a fashion magazine? "Got them!" Rey tore her attention away from Ren's mini-library and looked back to the trunk, which seemed to have vomited its contents everywhere within a five foot radius. Ren stood with a bundle in his arms as the contents of the trunk began to put themselves back. Rey nodded involuntarily, impressed.

Ren placed the bundle on his bed and rolled it out; inside lay several gleaming fencing foils in varying lengths. "Wait, you mean we're not starting with lightsabers?" Rey asked indignantly. ]

Ren shrugged. "Luke wants me to focus on technique, and this is the best way to learn technique hands down. At any rate, we don't want to cut off each other's limbs in practice, do we?" 

"Speak for yourself," grumbled Rey loud enough for Ren to hear and was pleased to see a shadow of irritation flit across his face. 

"Here, you need the shortest one. Your lightsaber will be about that long." Rey took the foil from Ren's outstretched hands and swung it through the air, testing it. 

Ren pulled out the longest foil, and inspected the tip, watching Rey in his peripheral vision. He was glad of the job from Luke, no doubt of that - and from the amused tone of the note, he suspected that Luke knew about his feelings for Rey. Kylo made a mental note to control himself better; someday soon, Rey's force sensitivity would improve, and then where would he be with her able to see his every thought about her? His thoughts about her smile, and the way she treated the base like a jungle gym, and how lovely her graceful hands were, dexterous enough to fix a ship's complex wiring, strong enough to carry her up what seemed like sheer walls, and someday held gently in his own...

Kylo shook his head. What a fool! There he went again! He reassumed his mask of neutrality. "Come, Rey. We'll practice in the gym." He left the room without waiting for an answer and shoved the foil into his belt, annoyed. He would need to be very careful. Very careful to do Luke proud, and very careful not to expose himself in the process. Despite his misgivings, however, Kylo allowed himself a small smile. Even if he made no headway whatsoever on Poe's plan, this new arrangement would allow him to spend more time with Rey - a fact which, given the immense feelings of frustration he could sense behind him, was not to everyone's liking.

***

"No. No. NO!" Kylo ran a hand through his bangs, pushing them out of his eyes. "Rey! I told you, we're working on technique! Swordplay isn't just about pushing the other person down!" 

"If I win, does it matter how I got there?" Rey countered, eyes flashing. She had been standing in Ren's dumb posture for ages, and her back ached. Rey walked over to the bench and grabbed a water bottle, ignoring the annoyed sigh of the man behind her. Kylo scowled. Having beaten him on the Starkiller base, Rey thought she knew everything about fighting now and refused to even consider unlearning her bad habits. 

"Look," he began, trying to take a more conciliatory tone and pulling off his robes. He made a mental note to just wear undershirts to fence from now on; apparently, the gym's heating system was eager to recreate the conditions on Mustafar. "I understand that this is boring, and I understand that you can beat a weaker opponent with brute strength. But when you go up against a stronger opponent, you'll need technique because otherwise they'll outmaneuver you. I know for a fact that Snoke is combing the galaxy for a new apprentice, and if you ever have to face them, you'll need all the help you can get. Fighting a trained Sith is no joke." 

Rey wasn't listening. She had had enough of Ren's preaching, and her temper was primed to go off by her soreness, her boredom, and her dislike of the man in front of her. "Really. Because I did it last month, and I do believe I won." Although Ren had turned away to grab his water bottle, she could tell from his posture that she had gotten to him. His knuckles turned white as his fists clenched, and Rey could see the muscles in his shoulders go taut. 

"Let's not forget," Kylo said tightly, his own temper starting to flare. "That I happened to have just been SHOT. When both you and Finn. Were barely able to stop me." 

"Mmm-hmm," said Rey, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Whatever you say. Guess it runs in the family." 

"What does." Ren had turned to face her, and he looked positively murderous. 

Just what she wanted. She was sick of all this "technique" business. "Oh, you know, going after completely unqualified opponents. Like Darth Vader with the Padawans at the Jedi temple." 

Kylo controlled his breathing with effort. "You can insult my family all you want, Rey. I'm not going to fight you. I'm not going to give in to your needling." He turned away, and Rey took her chance, landing a stinging blow on Ren's bare arm. 

The speed of his attack was blinding. Rey attempted to push back, but somehow his foil seemed to know where exactly to parry hers. Eyes alight with fury, Kylo rapidly pushed Rey back across the gym floor with a flurry of stabs and hacks. On the retreat, Rey could not react fast enough to do anything but watch helplessly as Kylo struck her arm. "Mechanical limb," he growled. He brought the blade across her face, missing her skin by millimeters. "Disfiguring scar." Rey's eyes couldn't help but stray to the hairline scar that traveled across Ren's nose and cheek, only visible under the bright lights of the gym. Kylo finished his swipe at her face and immediately swept her feet out from under her with his foot, catching her just above the ground and simultaneously bringing his blade to her throat and his face inches from hers. "Dead. Next time you try fighting a Sith, you might want that technique." 

He dropped her to the floor. Rey coughed, finding her lungs empty of air. She wasn't sure if it was from the intense exercise or the intensity of Ren's anger as he pronounced her dead. His eyes had almost seemed to burn as he formed the word. She shivered and sat up. As was becoming a common theme, Ren had disappeared with his robes and foil. He had left hers, however. Rey gathered up her things and left the gym, perturbed. Ren really must have been inches from death that day on Starkiller Base. After all, in peak condition, he had essentially killed her in about five seconds. She would have to calm down a bit, Rey thought. Two people with short tempers together was a recipe for danger, and as Master Luke had said, she wouldn't want to push him back to the enemy. Well, if she was being honest, would she? Did she want him gone? Rey thought for the rest of her walk back to her quarters. To her surprise, she realized that she didn't want him gone. He's a resource, Rey told herself, ignoring the small part of herself wondering what other books he had stashed in his room. He's too USEFUL to lose.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to where I realized I could start inserting music recommendations within the text of the story.

Kylo was awoken by a buzz issuing from his datapad. Blearily opening one eye, he pulled the tablet off his dresser and squinted at the notification. A message from Poe, it appeared.

"Messrs. Poe and Finn would be much obliged if Master Ren would join them this evening at half past seven, for an evening of high-brow entertainment and social mingling. Response requested at your convenience.

Poe Dameron, Esq.

P.S. Rey won't be there, so don't stress. Attire is black tie - jk jk sweats. Bring snacks and your game face :) - Finn"

Despite his irritation at having been woken up, Kylo's expression softened. Only two weeks and it seemed that he had been brought into the fold of Mario Kart Night. Normally, he would immediately reject this frivolity. A true Knight of Ren, a true Sith had no time for silly games. Childish. But another part of him was starting to assert itself. Damn it, he wasn't who he had been before. Kylo prided himself on being a maverick - he followed nobody's rules but his own. And that included the rules of being a Sith. 

Kylo allowed himself to fall back onto his pillow. He was Kylo Ren, dammit. He answered to no one, especially not his old masters. He quickly tapped out a reply - "Come at me. I'll be there." - and closed his eyes. Sweats. He ran through a mental catalogue of his wardrobe, and aside from his robes, found little beside black jeans and tank tops. Those would have to do. Snacks, he felt more confident about. A simple wave of the hand across the mess hall droid's CPU and he'd be in business. And as for Poe's perfect record, well... Kylo smiled and rolled onto his stomach. Growing up partially onboard the Millenium Falcon gave one an edge when it came to flying. He expected that he'd be finding himself assigned to several unpleasant chores in the coming days if he knew Poe right.

***

"Hey man! Nice haul on the food front! What's with the fancy dress though? We're in pajamas up in here." 

Kylo deposited his armload on the coffee table and grimaced. "Literally all I own is black jeans and black shirts. I don't think I've had a pair of pajama pants since I was on the Finalizer, and I'm fairly certain that Hux stole them from my load of laundry. Bastard." 

Poe chuckled. "Well, tell you what, Ren. We see that General Hux of yours, we'll ask for them back. In the meantime, I think that a shopping trip might be in order." Kylo tried to protest, but the pilot silenced him with a well placed Wii-mote to the head. 

He caught it and rubbed his forehead. "Oh, you're going down."

Twenty minutes later, Poe was feeling the heat. He had assumed that Ren's "alright" flying skills were just alright, when in reality he was a damn prodigy. Not as good as Poe, of course, but what Poe had in finesse and handling expertise, Ren made up for in dirty tricks. He had very quickly picked up the function of the various power ups, and wasn't shy in the slightest about slinging turtle shells around with crippling accuracy. Finn had long since given up on ever passing fifth place, and instead sat gnawing on some sort of jerky and planning his and Poe's next video game search. 

"Might as well bring Kylo," he thought. "I could go for some new clothes too. Thank god for this jacket, because the collars of my shirts are getting sad." After the battle at Starkiller base, Finn had obstinately returned Poe's jacket, but was surprised a week later when Poe took delivery of a nearly identical one. Instead of red accents, this jacket featured pops of blue, and had a built-in blaster holster. Finn had whistled jealously, wondering why Poe needed so many jackets. But not for long. 

"There you go!" Poe had held it out to Finn, beaming from ear to ear. "Tailored specifically for you, and with a few extra features that I thought might come in handy." 

"Poe, I can't accept this. You've done too much for me already." 

Poe grinned. "Too bad. It's yours. Put it on." Finn reluctantly shrugged the coat onto his broad shoulders, and from that moment he was rarely seen without it. He and Finn cut quite the couple with their matching jackets, and several of the younger officers insisted that that was indeed what they were.

As Finn sat watching his friend and - was Kylo his friend? Yes, Finn decided - throw elbows at one another and jockey for position, an idea came to him. He typed in the address and started reviewing his options. "That'll do nicely," Finn thought, satisfied after several minutes of designing. He pressed the order button and set the package to be delivered to one of the store's locations on a shopping planet near their favorite flea market. "Hey, Kylo. Does this Saturday work for you for a quick trip out to Sector Eight? We'll take a shopping trip and maybe look for some new games?" 

"Can't talk." Kylo's eyebrows were lowered, and his look of intense concentration was mirrored by Poe's. Whizz! The carts crossed the finish line, with Kylo's pixels behind Poe's. 

"Ha ha! Take that, Sith Lord! Nobody beats Poe Dameron! Undefeated champion for all time!" As Poe went on a victory lap of the room, leaping furniture and whooping all the while, Kylo stomped over to Finn and looked at the website of the planet in question. 

"Is all that's there a shopping mall?" 

"Pretty much. There's a lot of space out in Sector Eight, so they're not very efficient." 

Kylo sighed. "Yeah, I'll come. Although I swear to the Force, if Poe tries to pull a makeover or something on me as part of his Rey plan, I will hit him over the head with a mannequin." 

Finn grinned. "Duly noted. I'll warn him. Although I don't know how well he'll hear it since his ego is leaking out his ears."

***

"Acceptable. Better than it was." 

Rey grimaced. It seemed nothing was good enough for Almighty Fencing Master Ren. "What am I doing wrong?!" she shouted, frustrated. Ren had already made her practice this lunge about a million times, and she couldn't see what could possibly have been off that time. 

"You're not holding your foil right. I'm sure fighting with a staff is different, but you want to hold your lightsaber gently most of the time. You'll get jarred if your blade gets hit too hard with that kind of grip. Here, see? Hold up your foil the way you have been." 

Rey held up her blade in the most sarcastic manner she could. Ren walked towards her, foil outstretched. He suddenly looked over her shoulder, and Rey turned to see what was behind her. Crash! Rey's whole arm went numb as the vibrations from Ren's strike to her foil traveled with no shock absorption through her body. "See?" Kylo said. "If you've got a rigid posture and you're not expecting it, you'll be in trouble. Whereas, here." He walked over to Rey and loosened her fingers from their death grip, repositioning them in a more gentle hold. It took all of Kylo's concentration to keep his own fingers from shaking. He retreated to his end of the gym.

"Well, now I'm expecting it!" Rey said, frustrated. "This won't prove anything." 

"True, true," Kylo mused. "Oh, hey, Finn." 

"Hey, Kylo," Finn's voice issued from the hall. "Have you seen Rey?" Rey glanced over to the doorway despite herself, and that was all Kylo needed. He lunged across the room, striking Rey's foil again. But instead of resisting rigidly, Rey's arm simply deflected away from the attack, and she used the momentum to spin around and take her own strike at Kylo. He grinned. "En guarde, I suppose." 

He lunged once more. Rey parried, trying to simply hold his blade instead of pushing it back. Kylo changed tactics, taking a series of backhand swipes at her right side. Rey barely got her foil up in time, but since she was spending less energy pushing back on his sword, she found that she had the speed to go on the attack. Instinctively, she noticed that his left side was unguarded, and took a lunge toward it. Kylo had seen her intentions in her glance, however, and brought his saber down on hers, sliding along the length of the blade until their guards met. Their eyes met for a moment, and Kylo smirked. Rey had noticed that he was a master of the smirk. They broke apart, panting. "Force trick to throw Finn's voice?" she asked. 

"Yep. Nice work today. Told you that grip was better." 

"Yeah, yeah." Rey grabbed her water bottle. "Guess I don't know everything." Kylo looked over, worried that he had found some way to offend her again. To his surprise, however, she was smiling. Man, he didn't get to see that smile enough. Kylo managed his own in return. 

"Whelp," Rey said, gathering her things. "See you on Wednesday. Try not to be too wild of a party animal over the weekend there." 

"Oh, don't worry. Normally, I'm a total social butterfly and spend the whole weekend at nightclubs, of course, but Poe and Finn are dragging me on a shopping trip." Rey laughed, surprised at how Kylo's usual arrogance lent itself so well to snarkiness. "Oh, is that why they need the Falcon? Well, don't trash my ship, Sith Lord." 

"No promises, rebel scum."

***

It smelled different than he remembered. Of course it did; it had been sitting on Jakku full of sand for 20 years, but Kylo was still thrown by it. He ran his fingers along the wall as he ducked through the door to the main hold. It almost looked like nothing had changed - cleaner, of course since Rey had taken ownership, but nearly unchanged. He could almost see little Ben Solo sprinting around the ship, always underfoot, always in the way. "Dad, look what Uncle Luke taught me!" "Dad, where are we? Are we passing the Alderaan belt?" "Dad, is that coupler supposed to be sparking like that?" Always, "In a bit, Ben." "Later, Ben." "Shush, Ben..."

"Oh my gosh we have to go back to that crazy ocean planet. The sushi there was mad." Poe's and Finn's voices dispelled the ghosts, and Kylo shook his head sharply. "Hey man!" Poe said, clapping him on the shoulder. He was all dressed up in his jacket and a pair of distressed jeans, with his hair carefully styled. Kylo managed a weak smile and followed Finn, similarly stylish for this trip, into the cockpit. Thank the Force he was getting some new clothes, because he looked desperately over-formal. Poe took his rightful place at the controls, and Finn sat in the co-pilot's chair. Kylo sat in the chair behind the pilot's - incidentally, the one he had so often occupied a decade ago. He pulled out a collapsible pair of on-ear headphones - gunmetal finish, built-in music player, a present from his mother for his sixteenth birthday - and prepared himself to try and block out depressing memories with loud guitar solos. Finn and Poe had other ideas.

"Yo, what are those?" 

Kylo opened his eyes. Finn was turned around in his seat, pointing at his headphones. "My headphones?" 

"Yeah, what are they for? Like books on tape or something?" "

No, I'm listening to... music?" 

"Oh, right." Finn pulled a face. "I had been meaning to ask what music was." 

Kylo gasped in spite of himself. "Yeah, what's up with the whole music thing?" Poe piped up, setting the controls to autopilot. "I mean, I've heard it before, but what's great about it?" 

Kylo closed his eyes. "Force give me strength. Okay. Neither of you have ever properly listened to music before?" 

Poe shrugged. "Not a big thing in my planet's culture. Lots of sports out there. I mean, I can talk about wrestling or podracing for hours. But no music." 

"Finn?!" 

"Raised as a Stormtrooper, remember? How many of the First Order higher ups would have encouraged something like that." 

"Literally none of them." Kylo nodded. "Also, not sure if I ever got to this, but sorry if I ever force-choked you or anything. I was... kind of an asshole before." 

Poe cleared his throat loudly, then spoke in a high-pitched voice. "Sorry, Poe, for interrogating you by locking you up and ripping your thoughts out of your mind. My bad." 

Kylo blushed. "Yeah. That." Poe sat back, smirking and satisfied. 

Finn turned around again. "Nah, dude, but music! What's up with it?" 

"Oh, force, where do I begin? Okay, Poe, you know the feeling you get in your chest when podracing crowds are cheering for you? That's the drums. And Finn! You know those weird-ass chants they made the Stormtroopers learn? That you couldn't help but feel sucked into even though they were kinda creepy?" Finn nodded. "That's the bass, but it's less creepy. Okay. Have you ever seen someone pull off, I dunno, a flying maneuver perfectly in the middle of a battle? That's what a good guitar solo is like. And stick something as eloquent as, um, as one of Mom's - or, General Organa's speeches on top of that, and you've got lyrics. Sound good?"

Finn stood up and held out his hand. "I have no idea what a lot of those words meant, but sounds good to me! Here, let's listen to something!" 

Kylo pulled his headphones from around his neck. "Uh, okay, if you want to. Here, switch seats with me." He detached the music player from the headphones and plugged it into a little-used port on the control panel. "What do you want to hear?" 

"Something classic," said Poe, with his feet on the dash. He didn't seem to notice the dents that his boots rested in, but Kylo did, and he knew they were the dents his father had left from doing the same thing. 

He winced. "Something classic..."

"A long, long time ago. I can still remember how that music used to make me smile. And I knew if I had the chance, I could make these people dance, and maybe they'd be happy for a while..."

Seven minutes later, Don McLean's "American Pie" wound to a close. Kylo smiled. He had no idea what America was, but it was impossible not to feel for the people in the story who had lost so much and kept coming back. He looked at Finn. He was sitting, mouth agape, with a smile in his eyes. Kylo looked at Poe. Tears were streaming silently down his face. "I... had no idea what I was missing," he said, choked up. "Play me some more. I need to catch up on the last twenty five years of life, because I obviously haven't been living yet." Kylo obliged, pulling up his 80s Rock playlist. Whatever the 80s were, they did it right.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO HOTH TOPIC HOW MAY I HELP YOU

A playthrough of "Appetite For Destruction" and "Mothership" later, Finn and Poe were total converts to the concept of music. There was business to be done, however. "Okay, Ren," Poe said, maneuvering the Falcon into the massive shopping complex's hangar. "Finn and I have a surprise for you. So wait here for a sec." 

"Wait, what?" Too late. Poe and Finn had already jumped up and sprinted off the ship, closing the loading doors behind them. Kylo sighed, rolling his eyes and smiling. He stood, stretching his cramped legs and back. Then, checking to make sure no one was looking, he sat in the pilot's chair. He swung his feet up onto the dash; his heels extended beyond the dents in the console and rested awkwardly on an array of buttons. "Figures. I never fit in here anyway." Kylo stood again and snagged his music player from the port, snapping it back into his headphones. 

"We're back!" Finn yelled as he and Poe came stomping back up the gangway. "Okay, okay, close your eyes." Kylo grimaced and obliged, sticking his hands out. Something soft, heavy, that made a soft jangling noise as it came to rest in his arms. Kylo's eyes popped open in surprise. He held up a jacket - oh, but what a jacket! Made of soft black leather, with grey accents and a stripe of saturated red piping where the yoke of the shoulders met the back piece. The notched lapels were held down with silver studs, and each shoulder featured loop-style epaulettes held down with similar studs. Zippers extended from the jacket's cuffs to mid-forearm, allowing the sleeves to be rolled up, and a loop on the jacket's right side was obviously meant to hold a lightsaber hilt. 

Poe beamed. "Isn't Finn a genius?" 

"I thought you wouldn't be too into the tan, so I whipped this design up while you jerks were hogging the Wii." 

"THIS IS THE COOLEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE." Kylo pulled his far-too-formal robes and gloves off and dumped them on the cockpit floor, pulling the jacket on over his tank top and jeans. "Oh my force, it's so comfy. Now I know why you never take these off!" Kylo dove into the pile of black fabric at his feet and retrieved his lightsaber and headphones, hanging the latter around his neck and jamming the former into its scabbard loop. "How do I look?" He flipped his hair and let his bangs fall in front of one eye, smirking at the other two and posing. They all burst out laughing. 

"There you go, Ren! Use that one on Rey!" Poe choked between gales of laughter. "Well, that's an auspicious start. Let's go get some more stuff!" Kylo grabbed Poe's and Finn's wrists and pulled them toward the gangway. He stopped short and turned. 

"Thanks, by the way," he said, a touch of his old shyness returning. 

Now Poe took the lead. "Follow me! Shopping mission: start!

***

"Have you seen Kylo, Poe?" 

"What? I thought he was with you!" Finn and Poe facepalmed simultaneously. "Excuse me, Miss...ter," said Poe, tapping a being of indiscriminate gender on the shoulder. "Have you seen a human, about yea high -" he held his hand up as high as he could "- impressively voluminous black hair, wearing all black?" 

The being -- well, it did something that might be interpreted as a shrug. "All you humans look the same to me. But all black, I'd advise checking Hoth Topic. All the emo and goth kids wind up in there." 

Poe smacked his forehead again. "Of course. Thank you." He stormed towards Finn. "I bet you twenty credits he's in there." Poe nodded in the direction of the black storefront to their left, from which issued loud guitar riffs. Finn and Poe looked at each other, fearful. 

Finn grabbed Poe's hand. "Sorry. Force of habit." Poe squared his shoulders, and pulled Finn through the door and into the darkness of the store. 

Despite its intimidating outside, the inside of the Hoth Topic was surprisingly nice. Poe and Finn were immediately met by a teenage girl with a lip piercing and turquoise hair. "Hi! Can I help you guys today?" she said, bouncing in her platform boots. 

"Oh, yeah!" stammered Poe, surprised by the friendliness of such anti-establishment people. "Have you seen a guy come in? Black hair, really tall, all in black?" 

She frowned. "That's kind of a description of nearly everyone in here. But I did talk to a tall guy with gorgeous curly hair. Hot damn. I think he was headed for the vintage music section." 

"Thanks!" Finn and Poe set off across the store, encountering several more scary looking people who smiled at them as they passed.

They found Kylo sitting on the floor next to a teenage Twi'lek girl, surrounded by the contents of an overturned box of pins. "Oh, My Chemical Romance! That's my favorite band!" the girl exclaimed, holding up a pin with a spindly white spider on it. 

"Mine too!" Kylo grinned. "You can have that one, though. I like the Revenge era better. Oh, hey guys! You can get as many buttons as you can fit in this bag for five credits! This is amazing!"

"Hey, Sith Lord. Maybe tell us next time you decide to go running off into Emo Town." Poe rolled his eyes. "Hurry up, I want to get some sushi on Mon Cala." 

"Just gonna have to wait, Poe." Kylo glanced at his new friend. "I'm the sheriff of Emo Town." The girl laughed and held up her hand for a fist bump, which Kylo returned with gusto. "Alright. I'm gonna get the A Fever You Can't Sweat Out one, and the frnkiero and the cellabrations one, and the Black Parade one, and the skull one." 

"Oh! Don't forget the one with Kylo Ren's lightsaber on it. Dude, that guy is so cool. I mean, yeah, I know he's evil and stuff, but man. He's got stage presence." The girl blushed a delicate teal. 

Finn walked over from his perusal of the store's comic section. "Nah, didn't you hear? He went over to the Resistance. Been helping them fight the First Order." 

"Wait, really?" the girl looked incredulous. "Gee, I hope he still, ya know, retains like the cool goth look. He's an inspiration to the community, man." 

"Don't worry," said Kylo, with a studiedly neutral face. "From what I've heard, he's still totally keeping the Dark Side look going. Mind you, this is all hearsay." 

"Well, at least now I can think he's cool without feeling bad about it! You want the button?" 

"Nah, but I'll buy it for you." 

"Wow, really? Thanks!"

Kylo and the girl strolled over to the counter with a snickering Finn and a bored-to-tears Poe in tow. "You spent all this time and you're just getting the buttons?" Finn asked, disbelieving. 

"Oh, no." Kylo smirked. "Here," he said, handing the buttons to the clerk. "Add these to my pile. I'm ready to check out." Finn's eyes widened as the cashier pulled an armload of various clothes, magazines, and accessories out from under the counter. 

He dumped them on the scanner and panted. "Okay, I've been keeping track. That'll bring you up to... a hundred and ninety four credits." 

Kylo breathed in sharply. "Ouch." He paid and gathered everything into the biggest bag they had in the store. 

Finally, the group moved out into the openness of the mall, with Poe muttering under his breath. "Here you go," said Kylo, handing the Twi'lek girl the button. 

"Man, this is so cool. Thank you so much!" she said, immediately pinning it to her lapel. 

"You should see the real thing," Kylo tapped the hilt of his lightsaber and put a finger to his lips with a smile. The girl looked without comprehension, and then gasped as understanding dawned on her. She looked at the lightsaber, then back at Kylo, and then stood frozen with awe. He laughed and waved goodbye, following Finn and the now-loudly complaining Poe back to the hangar. The girl managed a squeak and a tiny wave of her own in response.

***

"You didn't tell me that sushi was RAW FISH! What kind of food is that?!" Kylo put a fist to his mouth, looking even paler than usual. 

"Well, sorry you're such a picky eater!" Poe shouted after Kylo as he stood abruptly and strode off into the market. 

"I'm gonna go find something that's not blinking at me!" 

"What's eating him?" Poe mumbled through a Cala roll. 

"More like what's he eating?" Finn laughed at his own bad joke and pulled Kylo's portion over to his side of the table. "So what's you get there at the mall?" 

"I got a new pair of flight gloves, some jeans, and this schmancy hair gel. Ren may have nature on his side but, dammit, I will not be beaten in my quest for most glorious hair on the base." 

Finn leaned across the table in a conspiratorial manner. "Back on Starkiller Base, when I was a janitor? Had to clean the officers' quarters." He laughed. "Captain Phasma was actually the one who stole Kylo's pajamas. But more importantly, guess what? His hair's not naturally curly like that. He's got a curling iron and stuff." 

Poe stared at Finn. "I NEED IT. HELP ME STEAL IT." 

Finn looked up at the ceiling in despair. "Okay, but your funeral."

"What'd you buy?" Poe asked to change the subject away from that of his likely-imminent death. 

Finn smiled and lifted all his bags onto the table. "Glad you asked! I got some kickass new shoes, and a pair of those tight-ankled sweatpants, and socks with ewoks on them for Rey, and a hoodie, and... OH! I got us all friendship bracelets! See, the orange one's for you, and Rey's is green because it's her favorite color, and mine's blue, and Kylo's is red--" 

"Wait--" Poe interrupted. "You got Ren one?" 

Finn shrugged. "Well, yeah. He's my friend." 

Poe looked shocked. "Is he... is he part of the squad now?" 

"Yes," Finn said firmly. 

"Rey's not gonna like that," Poe said uneasily. 

"Who's not gonna like what?" Kylo asked, returning with three slices of pizza and a smoothie. 

Finn looked envious. "Where did you... nevermind." 

"Here, want a slice?" Kylo offered a piece to Finn. "I need to know that someone else is sane here." 

"Wow, thanks Kylo!" Finn said pointedly. "You're a great FRIEND." 

"Alright, alright, alright." Poe rolled his eyes. "Let's get out of here. We still gotta hit up that flea market where we found the Wii." 

"But I just -- my pizza -- ughhhhhh..." Kylo continued to grumble as he followed the other two back to the Falcon. 

"What'd you buy at the mall?" Finn asked him as they took off and set a course to the forest planet. 

"Let's see. Well, I got like 3 issues of Dark Fashion Monthly - Hux, in a shocking move to all involved, has not been forwarding my subscription to my new address, and from his new haircut, I'm of the opinion that he's been taking them for himself. Bastard." Kylo pulled the magazines out and put them on the dash. "Then, I got some sweatpants--you know, the cool tight-ankled ones--and another pair of boots. Can't wear my old ones EVERYWHERE. And I got an MCR shirt, and a Darth Vader shirt, and a maroon tank top..." 

"Something that isn't black? I'm stunned," Poe muttered. 

"...and this cool bracelet, and a shirt with my own face on it because that store has exceedingly good taste" --He held up the shirt in question which displayed the iconic mask and lightsaber-- "...and some fingerless gloves for me and a pair of them for Rey."

"Nice move, bro!" Finn slapped him on the shoulder. "She'll love those." 

"Or despise them, since I've touched them." Kylo put his hands over his face. 

"There, there." Poe consoled, throwing a sympathetic smile over his shoulder. "The Dameron method takes time. Especially if you tried to kill her on previous occasions. Just keep using that Solo charm." Kylo flinched. "Sorry," Poe said, realizing his mistake. "Bad memories?" 

"Yeah," Kylo said quietly, leaning back into the chair he had occupied back when he and his father actually spent time together. "That."

***

"Ahh, Nilash III," Poe pronounced, taking a hearty breath of the cool air. "The loveliest of the three. Lock up the ship. They'll steal anything that isn't tied down here." These were Poe's and Finn's old stomping grounds from the Great Furniture Purchase of a few months ago, but Kylo couldn't help but stare in amazement at the sheer size of the market they found sprawled out below them. Poe and Finn made a beeline for their usual source of video games, beginning to dig through boxes for interesting-looking titles. 

Kylo followed more slowly, taking in the sights and harsh sounds of buyers haggling and sellers hawking. Old Clone-Wars-era blasters, lamps with blobs of melted wax inside, a pair of guitar necks sticking out of a cardboard box... he did a double take, then rushed over to the box in question. Not real guitars, but what seemed to be toys with a spot for a Wii-mote to fit inside. Kylo dug around inside the box, and was rewarded with a single CD case. "Guitar Hero II" read the cover in gothic font. Flipping the case over, Kylo found a list of the songs that could apparently be played as part of the game. "Surrender", "Cherry Pie", "Message In A Bottle"; all good songs. Then, there it was. "Dead!", by My Chemical Romance. About fifteen seconds later, Kylo owned the contents of the box--a steal for only seven credits.

"Guys! Check it out!" Kylo all but ran over to Finn and Poe, who were armpit deep in boxes of CD cases. "Look at this game I found!" 

"Guitar Hero? Wait, guitars are the music thing--is that what these plastic things are?" Poe lifted the red guitar out of the box and held it over his head like an axe. "Not...quite," said Kylo, replacing the guitar in Poe's hands the right way up. "But I think this is a music game. And it's got killer songs on the playlist." 

"Nice!" said Finn. "By the way, we think some of these CDs are music, not games. Wanna look and see if there's anything good?"

Kylo stooped to the box next to Finn and sifted through the plastic cases, scanning the album artwork. Most of it was fairly new, with the occasional old album thrown in. Poe pointed over his shoulder. "Guardians of the Galaxy? That's pretty much me, guys. How are the songs on it?" Kylo read the back. "Ooh, good call. Lots of good pop from the 80s." 

"Taylor Swift?" Finn said questioningly, pulling out a block of cases rubber-banded together. "She looks pretty interesting." 

"Ugh, the 2010s? Whatever those were, the music was rough then. You can get it if you want." 

Kylo took one last pass through the box and picked up a couple of albums--a less-scratched copy of Folie à Deux than the one he had, American Idiot, something called "Duality"-- and rose to his feet. "Let's get out of here before I accidentally buy the whole planet." The boys haggled their purchases down to reasonable prices, and soon were headed back to D'Qar with Poe insisting that they listen to his new album on the grounds that "the driver picks the music. Fly me around sometime, asshats."

***

Kylo found that it took him a lot longer to get ready in the morning now that he had options besides black jeans and black shirts. Actually putting together an attractive outfit was much more difficult than Poe and Finn made it look. Not to mention the fact that every day, his curling iron seemed to be in a different place than he left it. Kylo stepped out of the shower one morning only to find that it had disappeared entirely. 

Hair still wrapped in a towel, he quickly threw on the sweats he was planning to wear to his fencing lesson and dug around under his bed. Was it possible that it had somehow gotten swept underneath in a bundle of dirty clothes? His efforts rewarded him only with a couple of mismatched socks and the Hoth Topic bag from a week ago. Force, he was such a slob. On his way to throw it away, however, he noticed something still inside. The gloves he had meant to give to Rey! Kylo stuffed them in his pocket--he'd give them to her today--and returned to the more pressing matter of his curling iron. The bathroom drawers, under the dresser...where could it have gone? A notification made his datapad ping. "Pilot's meeting 10am." Pilots...Poe...WAIT. Kylo's head snapped up. Poe's hair had been looking suspiciously good in the last few days. 

A series of loud bangs on the door surprised Poe, Finn, and Rey as they shared a breakfast of sugary cereal in the boys' living room. "Come...in?" Finn asked, slightly fearful. 

"WHERE IS IT." 

Poe turned to find a pair of angry eyes glaring through still-damp bangs inches from his own, and gulped. "Where's...where's what?" He laughed nervously and shrank back in his seat. 

"So help me, Dameron, give it back or I swear..." 

Finn rolled his eyes and went into Poe's room. "Here's your damn straightener. Told you it was a bad idea, Poe." 

Kylo took the curling iron with as much dignity as a man who had just been found to own a curling iron could have, all the while boring a hole in the back of Poe's skull with a death glare. Rey snickered. Kylo's expression immediately changed as he realized that she was there. "Oh, uh, hey Rey. Morning, I guess. See you in a bit there." He beat a hasty retreat back to his room, fixing his poor hair and nursing his bruised ego.

***

"Hair looks good today, Ren." Rey grinned as she dropped down from the gym's loft to meet Kylo. He buried his face in his hands. "Don't worry, I'll keep it a secret. I just have to know, though--is that your real hair color?" 

"YES. Oh my force, this is a disaster. I can't." 

"Alright, alright," Rey said, relenting with a laugh. What have you got for me today, your Royal Sithfulness?" 

"Well, before this damn FIASCO, I was planning to do something a little different today. What's the weather like, do you know?" 

Rey checked her datapod. "Partially cloudy, cool." 

"Good." Kylo pulled on his jacket and ran a hand through his hair, which caused Rey to nearly burst out laughing again. "You want to grab a jacket real quick or anything?" 

"No, I'm fine," Rey said. Now she was interested. 

"Alright, follow me." Kylo seemed to have figured out how much shorter Rey's legs were than his and adjusted his pace to match hers better, but Rey's heart was still beating a bit faster by the time they reached the base's airfield exit. Kylo shouldered open the door and led Rey out off the tarmac and down a narrow path that wound its way into the forest surrounding the base.

They soon reached a small clearing bordered by a rock wall and a small brook. The trees here had nearly grown together, with their gnarled limbs forming a sort of undercanopy. Despite the huge trees, sunlight still filtered down to the forest floor, dappling everything with uneven shadows. "This is where I've been training," Kylo spoke, gesturing to the scorch marks on the rock wall. "I figured Mom wouldn't appreciate me slashing up the gym. But you've picked up fighting on plain ground really quickly, and I thought it might be nice to try a fight with a bit of... context? Still no lightsabers-" he held up his hand as Rey opened her mouth "-since, I mean, you still have to build yours. But this is a bit more interesting." 

Rey nodded and unsheathed her foil, planting her feet on the soft needles. Kylo mirrored her and began pacing left. Rey did the same, tracing out a circle in the center of the clearing. But Rey had forgotten that they weren't in the gym. Kylo waited until the sun was directly behind him, and then attacked. The sun was in Rey's eyes, and she only barely managed to scurry out of the way. "Dirty tricks!" she shouted. 

"If I win, does it matter how I get there?" he called in response. 

"I said that weeks ago!" Rey cried indignantly.

She turned to face him again and took stock of her position. If she could push him into the brook, she would have the height advantage. Darting out from where she had been standing, Rey took a series of jabs at Kylo. He blocked them easily, but unconsciously took a step down the riverbed. Rey continued, pushing him further and further down. Finally, his foot slipped off the edge and, catching himself before he fell, Kylo found himself standing in the water. "Ooh, you're lucky these are waterproof!" Rey tried to use the high ground, but she found that even with her six inch advantage, Kylo was still pretty much the same height as her. He grinned and shrugged. "Sorry. Were you trying to get a height advantage? Gonna have to go higher." He took a sweeping cut at her and worked his way back up the bank towards the rock wall. 

Rey moved with him, a plan in mind. When they were parallel to the wall, she feinted to one side and brought her sword around to pin his against the wall. In response, Kylo swung himself up onto the wall and pulled his foil loose from above. Rey followed suit and crossed blades with him, fencing just like they had in the gym. Although a misstep here would mean a nasty fall. Rey, more comfortable with heights, took the offensive and drove him back to the end of the wall. In a last ditch attempt to save himself, Kylo took a two handed swing and batted Rey's foil right out of her hand. He looked at her, triumphant. She looked at him, nervous. Then she took off running across the wall. 

Kylo advanced at a slower pace. Instead of slowing at the end of the wall as he expected, however, Rey kept running. Kylo stopped in shock as he realized her plan. She jumped at the last second and managed to grab onto a low-hanging tree branch, swinging herself up into the undercanopy. Now Kylo was back on the defensive. He didn't know what Rey was planning to do. Jumping off the wall, he paced warily towards the center of the clearing, where the spaces between the branches were bigger. But he never made it. Rey dropped out of the canopy right above him and fell heavily on Kylo, knocking him right to the ground. "Owwwwww," they both groaned in a tangle of limbs and foils. 

"That was not as good of a strategy as I expected," Rey moaned, extricating herself. 

"No," Kylo agreed, still rolling around on the ground. "That was not good. The opposite of good. And really effing painful." 

"Well, the important part," said Rey, standing and dusting herself off, "is...that I won! In your face, sucker! Woo!" Kylo responded by grabbing Rey's ankle and tripping her. She fell on top of him again. 

"Oof! Bad choices!" Kylo gasped as the wind was knocked out of him. Rey rolled off and began to laugh. Kylo frowned. "Stop it." This only made her laugh harder. "Oh my force, it's not that funny!" Kylo finally cracked. "It's not..." He couldn't help himself and started laughing hysterically. 

If anybody came on patrol at that moment, they would have been desperately confused. The two mystical Force-users of the Resistance, laying on the ground covered in pine needles and dying of laughter. As soon as one of them would stop, they would look at each other again and start up again. Eventually, they had run out of breath. "Well, that was fun," Kylo panted and rolled onto his stomach. There he felt the lump in his pocket, and finally remembered his gift for Rey. "Oh, by the way, I got you these the other week with Poe and Finn," he said and placed the fingerless gloves on her face, which elicited another series of giggles. "They'll be helpful for swordfighting, and maybe they'll be good for climbing too?" Rey pulled the gloves off her face and tried them on. They fit nearly perfectly, and the brown leather looked lovely against her tan skin. "These are great! Thank you so much!" Rey said, sitting up and getting to her feet. Kylo dropped his head into his arms and breathed a sigh of relief. 

Rey kicked him lightly. "Come on, we have to go back. That strategy meeting's in fifteen minutes." Kylo dragged himself to his feet and picked up his foil, thankfully undamaged by Rey's sneak attack. They walked back to the base bathed in late afternoon sunshine, and Kylo, who had spent the last seven years of his life skulking in the Dark, saw for the first time in a while the appeal of the Light.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that? Is it... could it be... a plot emerging??? Also welcome to the songfic part of the experience; find Duality by Set It Off at https://youtu.be/LCwS3VbfbvE

"Glad you could all made it." Leia smiled gently at the four young adults gathered around the console. Rey, the Resistance's new hope, strong and fearless; Dameron, Leia's best pilot and so cool-headed in a crisis; kind, caring Finn, fiercely protective of those he loved; and her son, talented beyond compare and finally, FINALLY, back where he belonged. There were few in the Resistance she trusted more, and there was no one else to whom she would entrust this critical mission. 

"I've called you here today because we have a mission that requires all of your skills. Our spies have notified us that the Outer Rim moon Dirama is being used as a First Order base. Most of the fleet's orders appear to be originating from this base, and we have reason to believe that critical data regarding the First Order's resources and possible plans is stored in the planet's mainframe." Leia touched the console's controls, pulling up a projection of the moon in question. "Dirama is mostly mountainous, and as such will be easy to land on without attracting attention. A solar flare recently damaged their shields, meaning that..." Leia glanced in amusement at Poe's dejected face. "...a light-speed approach will not be necessary. The base is really more of an outpost, sparsely manned and, to the best of our knowledge, lacking any important command staff. A stealth mission is preferable if only for your safety, but you should have little trouble in a firefight with so few troops. The objective is simply to download the contents of the mainframe and bring them back. Any questions?"

Kylo rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "You said that most of the First Order's fleet movements are being transmitted from this tiny outpost? Are you sure?" 

"Maybe they're being routed to a more powerful broadcaster from a Star Destroyer," Finn suggested. "The ships are always safer than planets for high-ranking officers." 

"I suppose..." Kylo still looked concerned, but listened to Poe as he planned their approach to the moon. 

"This pass should provide adequate cover. With the way the base is situated in the valley, we can pretty much land on top of them without them knowing. Two teams of two will enter each side of the main building, and try to infiltrate the central control room without being noticed. I suspect that the Force will come in handy for this maneuver." 

Rey nodded. Luke had just taught her how to perform mind tricks, and she found that she had a natural aptitude for it. A few more days of intensive training and she would have mastered it. "Then we get the data, leave hopefully as surreptitiously as we arrived, and mission complete." 

"Seems simple enough," Finn checked his datapod. "When were you thinking of running this mission, General Organa?" 

"Their shields are only temporarily down," she answered. "We have a narrow window of opportunity here. I would advise sometime in the next week." 

"Can do," said Poe, rocking back on his heels. "We'll say...next Tuesday?" 

"Perfect. Thank you so much. You all really are invaluable to the Resistance, you know." Leia smiled again and walked through the door to the main control room. "I'll see you next Wednesday to hear a report." 

Finn and Poe left the conference room, joking and shoving each other as they made their way down the hall. Rey made to leave as well, but noticed that Kylo was still staring at the schematic of Dirama. "Simple..." he muttered, the light from the hologram catching his scar and adding a sinister quality to his face. Rey shivered. 

"What's wrong with simple?" she asked. 

"It just seems... too easy," he replied, lost in thought. "The orders originating from that base. I don't like it." He straightened up. "I need to think for a bit. Tell anyone that asks that I'm in my quarters." Kylo swept out of the room in a cloud of black robes and bad temper. Rey stayed behind for a while. The scarred man from moments ago--dark, brooding, dangerous--could he really be the same person with whom she had fenced and laughed only that morning? She saw his face again, split by that jagged scar, half in the light of the hologram and half in shadow. Rey caught her breath. She needed to think as well.

***

Time was short before the mission, so Poe and Finn took it in six-hour shifts to make preparations around the clock--checking the Falcon's systems, planning routes and contingency plans, and doing target practice. Rey, since she still had not built a lightsaber (Luke said he was waiting for "the right moment"), dug up her old staff and spent hours on end in the gym practicing melee combat. She was surprised at how well the technique Kylo had taught her for fencing transferred over to fighting with a staff. Same balanced posture, same conservation of momentum in movement. Rey also practiced shooting with the boys--although sabers and staffs were more "elegant" weapons, sometimes a blaster was the best way to make one's point. Kylo certainly would have disagreed (and maybe stopped a few blasts in midair to prove his point) were he around at all. Since the meeting, Rey had barely seen him, when usually they crossed paths at least a few times a day. It troubled her. Could he sense something the others could not? Or was he regretting changing his allegiance when faced with destroying something he had worked so hard to build? 

Distressed, Rey barely noticed one day when her feet brought her to General Organa's door. She knocked without thinking, and was surprised when Leia opened the door. "Hello, Rey. I'm glad you're here. I've been expecting you for a while, even though it seems that you weren't expecting this yourself. Come in, come in." Rey followed the other woman inside quietly and looked around. Leia's quarters had a floor plan very similar to Poe's and Finn's, but the resemblance stopped there. Instead of the man cave that Poe and Finn had eked out, Leia's common room contained a simple round table ringed by five chairs for entertaining, and an old suede couch along one wall. It was to this that Leia brought Rey, sitting down across from the girl and folding her hands. "I think we've both got an idea of the subject of your visit, but why don't you articulate it for yourself?" 

Rey sat still for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. Finally, she blurted, "Why do you trust Kylo?"

Leia sighed. Not an unkind sigh, but simply a release of air and a release of tension. It put Rey more at ease. "We need to go back to understand, I believe. Han and I had a baby boy we named Ben not long after the Empire fell. This was a busy time for the galaxy, and for someone with huge responsibilities concerning the fate of the infant Republic, it was honestly a very difficult time to have another baby on my hands. But I did my best, and Han did too. He quickly went back to smuggling after the end of the war, and for the first few years of Ben's life, he and I saw Han very seldomly. Meanwhile, Luke was beginning to set up his Jedi academy, and saw potential in Ben. When he was six, Ben began to train with Luke and a number of other Padawans, although he did not live exclusively under Luke's care. I think that that was the problem. Han, although he knew the Force was real, never respected it completely, and he wanted Ben to follow in his footsteps. Every once in a while, he would descend on Luke's academy, storm in, and take his son off on an adventure, all the while belittling the Force and that which Ben had been working so hard at learning. Nor were these adventures any place for children. Ben told me many times about being let off to go look around a market while his father negotiated, only to have to come sprinting back to the ship as Han left in a hail of blaster fire. I did my best to be there for Ben, but between his apprenticeship to Luke and Han's wild excursions, I was only guaranteed a week with him around each birthday."

"Ben grew older, as all children do, and I watched the baby I had brought to Senate meetings and committee hearings become a young man. He continued to have his time divided for him by Han and Luke's tug-of-war, and I believe that this was what tore him apart. Desperate to have his father recognize how important becoming a Jedi was to him, he turned to darker and darker forces, trying to become as powerful as he possibly could. Luke, not knowing of the Darkness in play, was impressed by Ben's dedication and the fast progress he was making. But nothing impressed Han. He wanted Ben to be a pilot, and though his intentions were good, he was stubborn. Ben became angrier and angrier, more and more frustrated. When I saw him last on his seventeenth birthday, he had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was tangled and unkempt. He was still incredibly sweet to me, however, only his appearance belying his inner turmoil. I wish I had said something to him." Leia was silent for a moment, then resumed her tale. 

"Ben returned to Luke but was soon visited by Han, who in his usual brusque way told him to pack up a bag and get ready to go on another of Han's "adventures." But this time Ben refused. He tried to explain to Han what he wanted, what he needed - Luke heard Han enter his son's room and stood outside the door to make sure everything was alright, and told me this story just a few months ago - but Han wouldn't listen. He had his own plans for his son, and he refused to compromise. Ben pleaded and pleaded, but couldn't budge Han - he was always so stubborn. Finally, Ben snapped. And with all that Darkness and anger inside of him, desperation for approval turned to bitter hatred. And it all came violently pouring out. Han managed to escape his son's seventeen years of bottled-up rage, as did Luke, but the other Padawans... I'm not certain what happened to them. Luke went into exile, horrified at the failure of his experiment, and Han threw himself into his smuggling - I didn't see him for nearly ten years after that night. And of course Ben disappeared. Until I heard of a new commander in the First Order - a "Knight of Ren," known as Kylo Ren, who could use the Force and hid his face with a mask. I knew it was Ben." 

" 'Kylo' arrived at the Resistance Headquarters just a few months ago as you recall. Those who first took him into custody bound him with Force-resistant braces, and detained him in the prison wing for questioning. I went to see him, partially in my capacity as a general, and partially to satisfy my curiosity. Was he here to gloat? To destroy us from the inside? One look at him inside his cell was enough to dispel those concerns. Even on the video monitor, I could tell that being cut off from the Force was draining him - he looked pale and gaunt, and the wounds he sustained on Starkiller Base seemed to be bothering him, especially his scar. I finally gathered up the strength to enter the cell. He jerked upright as soon as I entered, and as I shut the door behind me his eyes followed my movements in a frightened way. I spoke first. 'So. Kylo,' I said. Such a strange name, but I wanted to put him at ease. 'What brings you to the Resistance.' His voice was hoarse as he replied, for of course he had had no one to speak to for the past few days. 'I don't mind...' he said slowly, with effort. 'I don't mind if you call me Ben. Or, I do, but for you, Mother, I...' "

"I couldn't help myself. I didn't care if he was dangerous or out to commit more patricide. I rushed over to him and held him as closely as I could, trying to make up for my failings over the past twenty-four years of his life. He held me back as best he could with his restraints and began to sob. He kept saying that he was so sorry, so so very sorry. But I had already forgiven him. I forgave him the moment he spoke the name I gave him, the name that reminded him of nothing but pain and anger in the form of his father's expectations. Han was a good man. He just held onto his own conception of the universe too strongly. He forgot that his son was his own person. And though Kylo has made many, many mistakes, he came back and acknowledged them. That is why I forgive him, and that is why I trust him."

Rey found her cheeks damp with tears. "Thank you, General Organa," she whispered. "Thank you for dispelling my doubts. Thank you for letting me forgive. Letting me trust." 

Leia smiled. "Call me Leia. And you are very welcome. I am glad you can find it in your heart to forgive Kylo. He has chosen a winding path, and therefore often walks alone. It is good that you can walk with him at least for some of the way."

***

The day of the mission arrived, and the four operatives convened that evening in the shadow of the Falcon's landing gear. Poe and Finn wore their matching jackets, outfitted with bandoliers of detonators and each carrying a large anti-personnel blaster. Rey, carrying only her staff and a small pistol, opened her eyes wide as she saw the arsenal they were carrying. "Stealth, sure," said Poe with a grin, "but we're quite ready for Plan B." Kylo walked up last of all in his black robes and carrying his helmet under one arm. Poe frowned at it and gestured with his chin. "What's up with that?" 

Kylo smiled and spoke a malicious edge to his voice. "Might as well use the intimidation I spent all that time cultivating. Wouldn't want my adorable face putting them at ease, there." 

Finn snickered. "Let's do this. I'll copilot for you, Poe. You gotta hear this album '1989'." 

"Anything for T-swizzle," said Poe straight-facedly, and followed Finn up into the cockpit. 

Kylo and Rey dropped their bags in the main hold and staked their claim to couches on opposite ends of the room. As much as Kylo wanted to go sit with Rey, he knew that he would appreciate having his own couch after a few hours of flight. He kicked off his boots, realizing too late to hide them that his socks had Jawas on them. Rey laughed when she saw them, and pulled her own boots off to show off Ewok socks in response. Kylo smiled and swung his feet onto the couch, pulling out his headphones and carefully adjusting them to leave his hair intact. Rey sat cross-legged and dug through her bag, pulling out the book Leia had lent her for the trip. Since their talk about Kylo, Rey had gone to talk to Leia a few more times, and they had quickly become close over hot cocoa and complaints about Luke's overly cautious teaching. Finally, she pulled the dog-eared paperback out and brushed some crumbs off the cover. "The Hobbit," by J.R.R. Tolkien. Rey had nearly never read for entertainment, but she curled up in the corner of the couch and opened to the first page. Kylo, watching her start one of his favorite books out of the corner of his eye, now closed his eyes and turned on his music. He knew that particular copy of the book, and though he wasn't sure what Rey was doing with Leia, he knew that his mother must really like Rey to lend out her prized possessions. He smiled and allowed himself to get lost in the music as Poe took off for Dirama

***

It was a long trip to the First Order base, and by the time Bilbo Baggins had returned to Hobbiton and bode his adventure farewell, nearly 6 hours had passed by Rey's chronometer. She stood, cramped from having read the whole book in one shot, and took a quick walk around the ship to stretch her legs. In the cockpit, Poe was leaned back in his seat with his boots on the dash, fast asleep and drooling slightly, while Finn watched the stars pass the viewport. Rey quietly stepped in, signaling to Finn to ask if he wanted her to take over. He shook his head and whispered, "I'm not sleepy. And I never get tired of this view." "Yes, I am handsome, aren't I?" Poe mumbled in his sleep, causing Finn and Rey to nearly burst out laughing. Finn waved her out, holding his hand over his face to keep any sound from escaping. Rey escaped to the hall and doubled over laughing, trying to be as quiet as possible. 

She returned to the main hold, ready to start another book. Stories were amazing! It was amazing to Rey, who had grown up in a world of pragmatism and artlessness, that words on a page could so easily transport to a world she had never seen before, and make it seem so real. She hoped that "Life of Pi" was just as good. Rey started back over to her couch, but heard some quiet noises that caused her to look around in confusion? Was it the coolant again? Force, she hoped not. Luckily, a moment's careful listening determined that that the sound issued from Kylo's headphones, which had slid onto his cheek as he slept. Rey appraised the sleeping figure. He looked pretty funny - curled up on the couch in fancy robes, with his Jawa-covered feet sticking out and his headphones squishing his face. Rey tiptoed over and pulled them off carefully, trying not to wake him up. She managed to accomplish this with only a few murmurs of protest. How did these things pause? She looked at the screen. Gosh, these were like ten years old! Kylo's current playlist appeared to be entitled "chill songs" - Rey barely suppressed a snort - and was playing a song called "Duality." Rey put them over her ears and sat down on the edge of the couch, curious. She hadn't listened to a lot of music, but she enjoyed Poe and Finn's new albums whenever they played them, and Kylo was the one who had gotten them into it in the first place. What did he listen to?

The song seemed to be mostly drums and synth, with the lead singer's voice simultaneously sweet and distressed. 

"I can't quite contain/or explain my evil ways/  
Or explain why I'm not sane/  
All I can say is this is your warning." 

How appropriate this song seemed to Rey. So like Kylo himself. 

"No, I'll never get away/ Cause if I try to stray/ It only holds me closer./ No, I'll never get away/ I love it anyway/I'll never stop." 

She could see why he liked this song, though. It had a sort of driving insistence to it, a bit of danger that was missing in a lot of Poe and Finn's music. It was... dark. The song ended, and with it, the playlist. Rey sat in silence for a moment, insulated from the creaks of the hull and the dull roar of the engine. She slowly took off Kylo's headphones, hanging them around her neck. "I like that song, too."

His sudden comment startled her again, but unlike a few months ago in the cafeteria, she wasn't irritated. Rey pulled the headphones off and handed them to Kylo, blushing slightly. "Sorry. You were asleep and..." 

"S'okay." He yawned sleepily, barely opening his eyes as he talked to her. "I got that song a couple weeks ago, and I really like the lyrics' message. 'Cause it's true, you know? Everything's a mix of good and bad. And sometimes the good is bad, and the bad is good. Like, all this stuff about the 'Light' and the 'Dark' side. Yeah, it's good to be disciplined and wise and Light and all. But the other side, it's not evil. It's emotion, and what people usually do with that is anger, and evil and stuff. But there's so much good that the Light side just tosses away. Passion, excitement...love...I dunno. I've learned in the past few months that balance is important. And I think that 'Duality' captures that really well. Yeah." 

Rey got the impression that Kylo was still half-asleep, but his words piqued her interest anyway. "You should send me that song. I'd like to hear it again," she said as he dropped back onto the balled-up cloak he had been using as a pillow. 

"Of course," Kylo mumbled with half of his face in the folds of the cloak. "Anything for you." Rey looked around at him, surprised, for signs of sarcasm. But his face seemed genuine, or at least what she could see of it. She looked at him a moment longer. Free of his usual glower or smirk, Kylo's face seemed much younger. Rey noticed for the first time his long eyelashes, and the fullness of his lips as he smiled slightly and turned his face deeper into his cloak-pillow. Rey stood and walked lightly back to her couch, quietly finding her next book. "All I can say is this is your warning..." floated through her head. But she didn't need, or want, a warning anymore. She finally trusted him, and what's more...


	6. Chapter 6

Rey woke up to the loud bangs of the hull decompressing as they exited hyperspace. Her book had flipped itself shut, thankfully not crushing any of the pages, and her left arm was numb from having been lain on top of. She stood and stretched, shaking the pins and needles out of her extremities. Then, pulling on her boots, Rey walked to the cockpit to see where they were. Poe had woken up, as had Kylo, and the two were sitting in the pilot's and co-pilot's chairs busily discussing strategy. "I'm telling you, I still feel like something's off. That moon feels like there're a lot more people there than our data predicts, and," Kylo quelled Poe's protests with a withering glare, "I'm never wrong." 

"Fine. Even if this base is bigger than we expect, our plan still holds. We can reconsider once we're inside and see what we're dealing with. Morning, Rey. Want some caf?" Poe proffered a styrofoam cup of the drink in question to her. 

"I'm good. Where's Finn?" 

"Put him to bed a couple hours ago," Poe answered, smiling. "He was gonna stay up all night, crazy guy. We're almost here now, though. Half an hour to touchdown." 

Rey sat in the chair behind Poe and looked at the grey marble that was Dirama. Kylo took a quick sip of his caf and turned to Rey. "Back me up here. How many people would you say are there?" Unsure of how to determine this, Rey reached out with the Force to the moon in the distance. Immediately, she felt thousands of presences, each with its own thoughts and priorities. She raised a hand to her temple, trying to estimate how many there were. But one of the presences was covering up all the others, blocking them out. This was an angry mind, full of hatred and disdain. It clouded her senses like a drop of ink in a bowl of water. She dropped her hand and the planet, frustrated. "Someone's clouding everything up. Someone angry." 

Kylo frowned, unable to sense it. "I'm only getting vague impressions of people. You're sensing emotions from this far?" He whistled through his teeth. 

Poe rolled his eyes. "Whatever you magicians say. Start getting your stuff together. We'll need to be prepared if Sith-boy's right." Kylo rolled his eyes back at Poe, but went into the main hold just the same to collect his lightsaber and helmet. Rey ruffled Poe's hair good naturedly, and sat in the co-pilot's chair to watch Dirama come into focus.

***

The four disembarked in a forested clearing situated just above the building they knew to be the base. Carefully, so as to avoid attracting attention, they picked their way down the rock slope to the base's back door, Rey leading with her's scavenger's instincts. She found a safe way for them to travel, and soon they were standing in front of the door. Poe pulled a small charge out of his bandolier and prepared to set it up on the door's control panel, but Kylo motioned him aside. Closing his eyes and extending his hand, Kylo stood silent for a moment and was quickly rewarded with a small shower of sparks and an open door. Finn clicked his tongue in admiration and led the band inside, following his Stormtrooper stealth training to the letter. The incredibly efficient mission broke down soon after that. 

Poe, Kylo, Finn, and Rey found themselves not in the back room of a small outpost on an Outer Rim moon. They found themselves on the uppermost level of a sprawling underground complex that stretched out for what looked like miles under the surface of the planet. The base appeared to be comprised of about twenty floors, all branching off from landings that ringed the main atrium into which the Resistance group was currently staring. Luckily, the landing they occupied seemed to be a little-used maintenance floor; undoubtedly, the more important functions of the base were housed on lower floors. Even now, they could see squadrons of Stormtroopers patrolling the landings below them, and the floor far below at the bottom of the atrium was crawling with officers and troops. "Shit," said Poe, summing up what they were all thinking.

Kylo stepped back from the edge and into the less exposed shadow of the doorway. "Okay. I think we should split up to cover more ground. That control room could be anywhere and we'll find it fastest with four people looking." 

"But we'll need everyone to mount an assault!" Poe argued. 

"This is supposed to be a stealth mission! You think we can just blow a hole through all those troops and saunter right up to the mainframe?!" 

"Well, not if we're miles apart in this damn labyrinth!" 

"Sorry, Poe, but Kylo's right. That many enemies, there's no way we can beat them in a straight fight. I still don't like the idea of splitting up though." Finn frowned. "Rey, what do you..." She wasn't listening, staring at something to the left of the group. He followed her gaze to see a blinking light beside the door through which they had entered. A blinking light... an alarm. Suddenly the four could hear a new sound over the general bustle of the base's atrium. The sound of approaching footsteps. 

"Find that control room," Kylo hissed, wheeling back around to face the group. "Don't be seen unless you have to be." Rey nodded and, pushing off the landing's railing, swung herself up into the rafters and disappeared. Poe opened his mouth to object, but Finn grabbed his hand and yanked him away, sprinting down a nearby hallway. Kylo turned and began running down the opposite hallway, pulling on his helmet as he did so. This helmet had seen Kylo do some awful, awful things. It was a symbol of his Dark past, and he hadn't worn it in months. But he had to admit, it felt good to wear it again. He felt powerful. Dangerous. And ready to take on whatever measly challenges the First Order could hope to throw at him. 

***

Finn and Poe wedged themselves in between a doorframe and the bulkhead and tried to catch their breath. "We gotta go down," Finn whispered. Poe nodded. He put a finger to his lips and motioned to the room just beyond the door near which they were hiding. Finn peered out. At the far end of the room was a closed door with two guards. The room itself seemed to be a hub, with several other narrow doors branching off. Barracks, Finn guessed, from the keypads next to each. The two guards stood silent, seemingly unaware that there were intruders on the loose. Poe set his blaster to stun. Might as well avoid casualties while they still could. The guards never knew what hit them, and slumped against the wall. Finn and Pie hurried over and began to move the two figures.

The first was about the same size as Poe, Finn realized. And the second was pretty close to him... Finn grabbed Poe's arm. "Let's get their armor off. Disguise!" 

"Genius!" They made short work of taking the troopers' white armor, and dragged their now-much-lighter victims to one of the barrack doors. Finn made short work of the lock with a small charge, and the two wrestled the prone bodies into the room. Obviously an officer's room, Finn noted, since only one bed occupied the space. A picture frame on the bedside table caught his attention. A photograph of a tall blonde woman in uniform, with her hair cut stylishly short. Behind her stood two stern grey-haired figures--possibly her mother and father, although it was difficult to tell which was which because they both wore their hair cropped close military-style. Finn knew who owned this picture. Captain Phasma, his old commander. And then he saw the only other visible personal item in the room: a pair of red and grey pajama pants folded neatly at the foot of the bed. 

Finn almost burst out laughing, and pointed them out to Poe with a huge grin on his face. Poe stared uncomprehending, until suddenly his eyes lit up mischievously and he broke into a broad smile. He and Finn finished gearing up in the Stormtroopers' armor and stuffed their jackets into Poe's backpack. It would seem strange for a Stormtrooper to be carrying a bag, but not as strange as a couple of Resistance fighters strolling the base. Poe snatched the pajama pants off the bed and jammed them in too. "He owes me one now."

***

The "he" in question wasn't thinking about pajamas at that particular moment. Instead, he strode purposefully down a grate-floored detention hall, heading towards what he was sure would be an elevator at the end. Unfortunately, his quick progress was somewhat slowed by the arrival of a squadron of about a dozen Stormtroopers sweeping the area for the invaders. Kylo stopped short. So did the Stormtroopers, seemingly surprised that they had found anyone. Then their training kicked in, and they raised their blasters. "Now, now, now, I'm suuuuuuuure we can come to a peaceful resolution here," Kylo drawled, enjoying the way his helmet's voice changer made his words sound. He opened his arms in a conciliatory gesture. The troopers seemed unimpressed.

"No mercy for traitorous scum like you, Kylo Ren," spat the commanding officer from the back of the group, pushing his way to the front. "The time for you to pay for your crimes against the First Order has co-" But the words stuck in his throat. In fact, everything seemed to be sticking in the officer's throat as he suddenly went rigid. Kylo cocked his head at the other troops, daring them to step forward. He placed a hand on his lightsaber and strode through the middle of the group, which, newly fearful, parted before his malevolent aura. He walked for a moment more before releasing the commander, who promptly dropped to his knees and began gasping in lungfuls of air. Kylo reached his elevator, and looked back at the squadron, which still stood silent, sending off strong waves of unease. He smirked as these met his senses. The First Order may have forgotten where he fit in the pecking order, but it didn't seen like there would be any difficulty in reminding them.

***

The First Order's base had ductwork ideal for climbing, and Rey was able to move quickly and stealthily. Using her Force-sense, she tried to feel out the floor plan of the level she was on, and noticed a maintenance elevator shaft at the end of the hall, covered by only a single guard. Rey carefully worked her way through the jungle gym of pipes until she could see the elevator doors. The lone trooper by the door stood rigidly at attention, on the lookout for the intruders about whom she had been notified. Rey stretched her hand out towards the trooper, who suddenly heard a suspicious clattering just around the corner. She went to investigate, and as she left her post Rey dropped down in front of the elevator doors, pried them open with the Force, and slipped into the shaft as the door closed behind her.

The shaft was lighter than she expected, and by the glow of the light seeping in from each floor's door, Rey could discern the shapes of pipes and couplers. It was lucky that the shaft wasn't completely sheer, she realized, or she would have trapped herself. Rey lowered herself off the narrow ledge behind the elevator door and began the long descent down. It was exhausting climbing, but better than being shot at. Rey trusted her body to carry her safely over physical obstacles like these, and almost enjoyed the simple hard work that she faced. She had lowered herself about seven floors when she heard machinery start up. Her stomach dropped. Of course there was an elevator in the elevator shaft. She felt a rush of air pushing down on her; the elevator was above her, and it was approaching fast. She scrambled down the shaft as quickly as she could, practically leaping from handhold to handhold. Suddenly, Rey felt a searing pain in her hand--she had grabbed a pipe carrying something blisteringly hot. She managed to pull her hand away without injury, but her reaction caused her to slip. Rey felt sick, and then she began to fall faster and faster down the elevator shaft as the elevator above bore down on her. In a last ditch attempt to save herself, Rey turned her staff sideways, trying to make it catch on something, anything. The staff finally lodged itself in the slit of a grate, bringing Rey up short and nearly knocking the wind out of her. She quickly pulled the staff's strap off and threw herself toward the nearest door, Forcing it open and ducking out of the shaft just as the elevator rushed by. Rey turned, ready to fist-fight her enemies if need be, but she was only in a janitor's closet. She heaved a sigh of relief, leaning against the wall. One staff down, but much closer to her goal. Rey pulled her pistol out of her satchel and stuck it in her belt. It looked like she would have to resort to less elegant tactics. She climbed a bookshelf full of cleaning supplies and continued on her way through the relative safety of the ceiling.

***

The base was crawling with patrols of Stormtroopers, and nobody noticed when a pair of them strode out of the elevator and attached themselves to the end of one of these groups. Nor did anyone notice the left trooper's strange bag, or the way he walked much more loosely than the rest of the soldiers beside him. Nobody noticed when the right trooper threw an elbow at the left and indicated the proper marching posture. And of course nobody noticed the curls of dark hair sticking out the back of the left trooper's helmet--far too long for a regulation haircut. There had been a breach in the outer surface doors, for god's sake! Why would they notice those details when there were intruders on the loose somewhere in the base?

***

Kylo looked down over the railing. It seemed like he was still about five stories up from the bottom floor. He turned to look ahead at the hallway in front of him, which was narrow and bookended by blast doors. As confident as he was in his abilities to escape any trap they might set for him, he still didn't like the idea of those doors slamming behind him. He stood warily, trying to sense whether or not someone sat waiting to spring the trap on him.

Poe and Finn bringing up the rear of their patrol emerged onto the landing of the floor below and immediately saw Kylo, standing like a sitting duck in the middle of the platform above them. The officer accompanying their platoon motioned quietly for the troops to aim. They had to warn him! But wait. If they spoke out, they'd blow their cover. The officer raised his hand to signal the troopers to shoot. Finn made his decision. "Kylo, watch out!" The figure on the ledge opposite them turned sharply and, seeing the threat, sprinted for cover. The platoon turned as one to stare at whoever had cost them their shot. 

Poe tore off his helmet and began firing into the squadron, running backwards along the landing. Finn followed suit, realizing too late that they were backing themselves up against a closed door. Even though their numbers had been greatly reduced by Poe's spray of bullets, the troopers chased the two down toward the dead end, and took aim once again. Expecting the end, Poe grabbed Finn and held him close, eyes closed. They heard the shot, and braced themselves, but never felt the sear of the laser. Poe opened one eye a crack, and saw the bullets frozen in place inches from his nose. Finn stared at them uncomprehendingly, but Poe had seen this before on Jakku. He quickly turned while the Stormtroopers were confused and shot the door's lock, opening it and pulling Finn through to safety. As the blast doors closed again behind them, Kylo released the blasts which sparked harmlessly against the metal. 

His friends safe, Kylo turned back toward his path only to watch a laser blast whiz past his nose. He jumped back and lunged toward the railing to identify his attacker. A few floors below him, Kylo caught sight of a figure he knew all too well. That long wool coat draped over the shoulders but never actually properly worn. The bright red hair, neatly parted and styled. And of course the icy blue eyes that met his now. General Hux looked at Kylo with all the loathing he could summon up. Not a man given to passions, there was little that angered him more than disorder, disloyalty, and his enemies, all of which Kylo Ren embodied to the fullest. Kylo, a man much given to passions, bared his teeth (which unfortunately went unseen under his helmet) and all but growled at the general, then turned and sprinted down the hall he had been avoiding earlier toward the stairs. He and Hux had unfinished business, and he was most anxious to conduct it.

***

Poe and Finn careened down the hall as they desperately tried to outrun the sounds of boots stomping on polished floor. Finally, the platoon fell behind and the sounds faded, allowing the two men a chance to stop and catch their breath. Once Poe had gotten his wind back, he took stock of their location. They seemed to be in a huge underground hangar; the ceiling and walls were comprised of the rough rock of the cave in which it had been built, and on the shiny black floor rested rows upon rows of land vehicles in various states of assembly. AT-ATs with legs half attached, armored hovertanks, and looming shadows with sinister mechanical limbs for which Poe had no name. He shivered. The First Order's resources greatly outstripped even the Resistance's most pessimistic estimates, and if this base was anything to go by, it was likely that many more of these factories existed throughout the galaxy. But here before him was an opportunity to strike back. 

Poe deftly opened his bag and extricated the bandoliers of detonators he and Finn had been carrying before. Poe held one out to his friend, who nodded and took it. "I'll start setting them on the left side, you go on the right. How far away can we detonate these from?" 

Poe wrote in the air with his finger, mentally calculating. "Though all this rock, I'd say the transmitters would work from as far as the third floor from the surface. We'll do it on our way out." The two nodded at each other with a smile, and set to their saboteur's work.

***

Rey's continuing path through the base's ceiling had led her to a bit of an impasse. She stared out, weighing her options. In front of her lay a chasm, about 35 feet across, with only a narrow pipe spanning the gap. She knew that on the other side there was a stairwell that she could travel through unhindered, but that pipe looked barely thick enough to support the weight of a child, much less Rey. She couldn't go around, though--they were running out of time before the whole base was focused solely on catching them. A deep breath. Rey reached out and wrapped her fingers around the pipe, testing her grip. At least it wasn't searing hot. She grasped the pipe with her other hand, and eased herself out over the abyss. The pipe held, but it flexed every time she moved, sending her bouncing. This would be exhausting. Slowly, torturously, Rey inched her way along the span towards safety. Below her she could see nothing but infinite black. The air was still in the middle, and the creaks and groans of the pipe seemed amplified, although this may just have been Rey's pumping adrenaline. She reached for her next position, and in doing so caused her blaster to slide out of where she had tucked it into her belt. Rey gasped and grabbed for it with her feet as it fell, but missed and could do nothing but watch her only weapon tumble into the darkness below. She listened for the pistol's impact on the floor of the cavern. It never came.

Thoroughly freaked out, Rey worked her way across the gap as quickly as she could, pushing away the dark thoughts that seemed to reach up out of the void towards her. Finally, she swung herself into the opening on the other side, and climbed down through the ducts to land in a normal-looking stairwell. Rey bent over and put her hands on her knees, head spinning from the cocktail of exhaustion and fear pumping through her veins. No weapons. Enemy base. Rey felt panic welling up inside her, but squashed it down. She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to think rationally like Luke had taught her. She still had the Force. And that was plenty for her to get along. Rey straightened up, feeling better, and set back off to complete her mission.

***

Kylo threw his consciousness out in front of him as he ran, searching for General Hux. Stormtroopers began randomly collapsing, heads clutched in their hands, as the Knight's presence raked through their minds. Hux was made of sterner stuff, however. Kylo finally found the general's presence--cold, but seething with a loathing that its owner did not often experience-- and locked on, settling as an ache behind Hux's right eye as he followed the other man's path through the base. They were descending deeper and deeper, probably to the very control room that Kylo sought. He redoubled his speed, vaulting railings and taking the stairs three at a time. Hux remained just ahead of him, the tails of his long coat disappearing around every corner Kylo reached. But at last there were no more halls or stairs. The general hurried down a broad hallway to a set of double doors and pushed through them. Kylo ran after, the anticipation of the chase filling him with adrenaline. He burst through the still swinging doors, and felt an excruciating pain in his side. Kylo dropped to one knee.

He had found the main control room, but that barely mattered in the face of more immediate threats. To his left stood General Hux, with an arm-length baton in hand. The baton sparked and crackled, emitting a menacing hum. Hux sneered and raised the baton again, this time dealing Kylo an electrified blow across the shoulders. His legs spasmed of their own accord, and Kylo found himself lying on his side on the cold floor. He raised himself to his knees with a grunt and tried to reach for his lightsaber. His arm was numb. Kylo tried to reach for the Force to pin Hux in place, throw him across the room, anything. He had nothing. The currents of the universe, which he could usually access with the flick of a finger, had faded into oblivion. Kylo had never felt more alone. He was worried now.

"Like this?" Hux said, tapping his weapon's tip on the floor. "Snoke had them made special, as a... welcome home gift! No Force, right? The electricity interrupts your connection. Not permanent, I'm afraid, but by the time you recover..." he chuckled, "...I believe you'll be otherwise occupied." 

"What does Snoke...want me for?" Kylo spoke with difficulty; his tongue felt thick and numb in his mouth. 

"Well, of course, he wants his runaway apprentice back! And failing that, he wants you... out of the picture. I'm to persuade you, I believe. And failing that..." Hux inspected the tip of his baton. "Well, let's discuss that later." He strolled over to the kneeling figure and drummed his fingers on his helmet. "I feel, somehow, Ren, that you're a bit closed off behind that mask of yours. Shall we?"

Hux pulled Kylo's helmet off roughly and tossed it into the corner. Kylo's head lolled, as he was still weak from the last shock, so Hux grabbed a hank of his hair and yanked his face up to inspect it more closely. "That scavenger girl really did a number on you," said Hux, tracing the line of the scar with a gloved finger. "Pity." Kylo pulled himself back from the brink of unconsciousness and glared at the general, locking his dark eyes with Hux's pale blue eyes. They belied something behind the conceit and the military demeanor, an emotion that Kylo had had years to identify in the eyes of others. Fear.

Hux dropped Kylo's bangs, causing his head to drop again. Kylo grinned maliciously, catching Hux's momentarily diverted attention. "What?" he said sharply. 

Kylo coughed, spat, and said hoarsely, "You. You're still afraid." Retribution was swift. Not just a glancing blow this time; Hux struck Kylo across the small of his back and bore down on the baton, electricity arcing across the weapon's length. Kylo collapsed onto his stomach, muscles straining and twitching violently. He fought to regain control, but the shock surging through him made it impossible to move of his own volition. 

Finally, after what seemed an agonizing eternity, Hux relented and began pacing around Kylo's limp figure. "You're more trouble than you're worth, you know that, Ren? If it were up to me, even before you became a filthy traitor, the First Order would have nothing to do with you. You act like a child and have no self-control. You're chaotic." 

"Funny there, Hux," Kylo mumbled through a numb face. "Sounding like a Jedi there. Control, no emotions, etc." 

"Shut up. Nobody cares about your silly little magic, Ren. The future is in steel and ships. Even the Resistance sees that." 

"Don't be too quick to discount things you don't understand. Might bite you in the ass someday." 

Hux's pacing stopped in front of Kylo's face. "Another problem with you, Ren. You don't know when to shut your mouth. So I'll do it for you." Hux took a vicious kick at Kylo's jaw, sending him sprawling onto his back. 

Kylo picked himself up with all the strength he could muster, raising himself to his knees again. A thin line of blood ran from the corner of his mouth. Hux was shocked. These batons were supposed to paralyze someone of Ren's size for up to ten minutes a shock, and yet here he was, almost fine in two. He maintained his composure, however. "I'm supposed to capture you," he said, his voice echoing around the empty control room. "But first, I'd like to know a little more about your visit. How many others are there?" 

"Don't know what...you're talking 'bout," Kylo was fading out of consciousness, but he pulled himself back with an effort. 

"Let's try that again." Hux grabbed the front of his tunic and held the baton against his ribs, thumb on the trigger. "How...many?" Kylo set his jaw and stared defiantly into the general's face. If only he could access the Force! His thoughts were cut short by another excruciating shock. He blacked out for a second, but managed to claw himself back from unconsciousness. 

"What about that traitor Stormtrooper? Is he here?" Nothing. "You must have needed a pilot. Where are they?" Hux wondered if Ren could even hear him, so stony was the face that glared back at him. "Perhaps...That scavenger girl?" Kylo's mouth twitched. "Of course..." Hux dropped his collar, causing Kylo to collapse again. "We'll send out a squadron to find her. Where should they start looking?" 

"Who?" came the whispered response. 

This irritated Hux to no end. He had expected Ren to be much easier to crack since he seemed to have no control of himself. "Your little friend from Starkiller base. The one who gave you that scar." Kylo made a motion that might have been a shrug from his facedown position on the floor. Crack! Hux thought he heard a rib crack as he took another kick at Ren's side. Kylo groaned in pain, refusing to give Hux the satisfaction of any greater response than that. The general smirked. There it was. And the information wouldn't be far behind. He placed the end of the rod on Kylo's back. "Talk." No response. Shock. Kylo groaned again, his convulsions causing fresh waves of agony from his ribs. "Talk." Kylo was breathing heavily now through his teeth, each pant expanding his lungs painfully against his rib cage. But he said nothing. Shock. 

Kylo screamed in pain, spasming, pinned down by the inexorable baton. "Never! No, no, no, never!" 

"You stubborn ass!" Hux bent down, looking at his enemy's face--covered in blood, sweat, and tears. "You really are a child! You and your fucking tantrums!" Kylo spat in his face, blood and saliva mixed. Hux swore and wiped his face with a handkerchief, utterly incensed. "Oh, you're gonna get it! You've been a pain in my side for too long, Ren! Snoke is wrong, he can't do anything with someone as undisciplined, unprincipled, useless as you! It's time to end this." Hux raised the baton, electricity set to lethal levels. Kylo could hold on no longer. The taste of metal in his mouth, Kylo watched a dark shadow approach, blotting out the light above Hux's head. He supposed that was death coming for him. And then he blacked out.

***

Rey was running down the stairs when she heard shouts and screams. She couldn't distinguish the words, but it seemed strange that this ordered base would have people making a commotion like that. Maybe it was Poe and Finn! She could get a gun from them, and continue looking for the control room. She skidded to a halt on the first landing she came to, and ran out onto the observation bridge. The main control room! She had found it! Sure, she was a few stories too high up, but she'd be able to work her way down with a few seconds of thought. And then she saw the source of the screaming. A dark figure that could only be Kylo lay twitching and crying out on the floor with a red-haired man standing over him, pressing some sort of weapon into his back. Rey grabbed onto the railing to keep herself from running forward. She was trapped up here, unable to save Kylo. The red-haired man started shouting again, and she watched as Kylo spat in his face. The man let out a string of curses and began to raise the weapon, obviously going in for the kill. Rey looked around wildly: something to throw, something to shoot, anything. Then she looked down. The man had his arm fully raised. She didn't even think. She just vaulted the railing and jumped.

Rey landed squarely on Hux's shoulders, knocking him to the ground. The baton skittered across the floor, rendered harmless. As the two fell, Rey's leg bent so it was underneath Hux's body, and a sickening crunch echoed through the control room. Hux's head struck the floor, and he blacked out. Rey took one look at the bone sticking out of her calf, and joined the other two in oblivion.

***

Kylo gasped, drawing air into his lungs. He bent his arm experimentally. Still intact. He moved to raise himself up to a sitting position, groaning sharply as his ribs protested. But the Force was back! Kylo immediately took stock of his surroundings with his Force-sense, eyes still bleary from the tears of pain running down his face. Two figures lay near him, still unconscious. Kylo's eyes snapped open, and he whipped around to see Rey lying in a pool of her own blood. "No, no, no, no!" He knelt next to her and lifted her head into his lap, checking her pulse, her breathing, looking for any sign of life. 

She was breathing, but shallowly. Kylo looked at her leg, the source of the blood. Compound fracture. She might never heal properly if he didn't do something. Kylo stretched out his hands over the break, trembling uncontrollably. He hadn't tried to heal anyone with the Force since he had run away, and Force-healing was a power strongly tied to the Light Side. He closed his eyes, taking shuddering breaths. The Light. Images of their fencing practices sprang to mind: Rey with a determined smile, pushing him into the brook, Rey climbing through the trees wit practiced ease, Rey laughing with a halo of sunlight. Kylo reached for the Force and channeled his happy memories into it, praying to anyone who would listen that he could do this. 

He opened his eyes. A glow appeared around Rey's wound, and the two ends of the bone set themselves and fused back together. The wound stubbornly remained open, but the fracture was repaired. Kylo dropped his hands in relief, tearing a strip off his cloak and tying it tightly around Rey's leg. She stirred, and looked up into Kylo's eyes. "That move...still doesn't work." 

"Did you jump on him?" Tears sprang to his eyes, unbidden. 

"He was going to kill you. Couldn't let him." 

He smoothed her hair back from her face. "Thank you. Rey, I..." "Get the data..." Rey pointed at the mainframe computer, just a few yards away. "Right. Yes." Kylo helped Rey into a sitting position, then stood and hurried over to the computer, plugging in a data stick with the hacking program on it. He watched the lines of code fly by anxiously. He hoped the Resistance programmers knew what they were doing.

"Stand down, Ren." A male voice echoed through the room, and Kylo spun around in shock. Hux had regained consciousness and now knelt behind Rey, pressing the barrel of a pistol into her temple. Kylo moved without thinking. Hux expected him to wait, weigh his options, talk--these were the things that rational people did when faced with a hostage situation. But Kylo's impulse took over and before Hux could even begin to squeeze the trigger, he found himself pinned to the wall. Kylo wasn't even using the Force; he simply grabbed Hux by the throat and lifted him up the wall as if he weighed nothing. He leaned in close, blue Force-lightning crackling around his head in a dark halo. All composure was gone from Hux's face now; pure terror had replaced it.

"Don't. You. Touch. Her." Rey lifted herself from the floor in time to see the truly awe-inducing sight of a properly angry proto-Sith Lord -- robes whipping in a non-existent gale, eyes practically glowing red, Force lightning crackling around his arms and head. She gasped. Kylo, intent on his victim, nonetheless heard her, and in an instant his face changed to one of fear as he looked at her--expecting to see hatred or revulsion. He dropped Hux in a gasping, coughing heap, and retrieved the data stick, now with the important files downloaded. Jamming this into his pocket, he scooped Rey up into his arms and began striding as quickly as he could toward the stairs, ignoring the piercing pain in his side. Rey dropped her head against his shoulder, exhausted. Together, they worked their way up out of the base. Kylo's helmet lay in the corner of the control room, forgotten.

***

Finn and Poe skidded on the polished stone floor of the hallway as they rounded the corner, and continued running up out of the base. General alarms had begun to sound as the localized squadrons had not been successful in capturing the intruders (Hux's apoplectic shouts to his subordinates after he regained consciousness had been very effective in mobilizing the base), and the two figured that the time for stealth was long since past. Poe began tearing pieces of armor off as they climbed the stairs two at a time, Finn following suit once he realized how heavy the Stormtrooper disguises they had donned really were. He felt much better in his own clothes--the feeling of the helmet around his face and the weight of the other armor had been dragging him into a place of unhappy memories. Finn focused on Poe's back, focused on the happy life he had found for himself with the Resistance, and knew more than ever that the day that the pilot had been captured was the day he had been saved.

Finally the two reached the first floor, just in time to see Kylo and Rey's limp figure emerge from the stairway on the other side of the base. They were also just in time to meet a huge barrier comprised of troops, blasters aimed directly at the four Resistance members. The three men looked longingly at the sliver of tantalizing daylight visible through the door they had hacked earlier, then squared themselves for a fight. Finn raised his blaster, Poe dug a detonator out of his bag, and Kylo shifted Rey to his shoulder and ignited his lightsaber. All this was completely unnecessary, however, for at this moment Rey found a reserve of strength she didn't know she had. She twisted herself out of Kylo's arms, dropping to a knee. All eyes went to her, unarmed, weak from blood loss, and for all this looking extremely badass. Rey raised a hand, closed her eyes. And reached for the Dark Side.

The swirling currents of passion and anger nearly swallowed Rey, but she stood strong. Kylo gasped as he felt her usual Light presence go grey for a moment, fearing that she was dying again. But then he realized what she was doing, and reached out to bolster her strength. Working together, the two Force-users--the near-Sith and the near-Jedi--summoned up all their strength. And just as Kylo had done to Rey on Takodana, they knocked out the troops where they stood. For Finn and Poe, it looked like the troopers were marionettes whose strings had been cut, and they started in shock. Rey slumped forward again, fully exhausted. Kylo lifted her again, and shouted "Come on!" to Finn and Poe. They stumbled over the prone figures in front of them, and ran as quickly as they could towards freedom. 

But a certain general wasn't finished with them yet. Face almost as red as his hair and with a nasty wound to the temple, Hux emerged from the stairs and took a parting shot as the three crossed the threshold. Distracted as he was, Kylo couldn't stop the blast in midair. He could only watch helplessly over his shoulder as it streaked toward him--surely a lethal shot. But Poe Dameron was made of sterner stuff and faster reflexes. He stopped in his tracks and dove to cover Kylo, taking the blast to the shoulder. He fell in the gravel, groaning. Finn shot back at Hux as he dove to his friend's side, helping him to his feet. Kylo turned to exact revenge, but Hux had given up, disappearing into the shadows of the base. Finn grabbed Kylo and pulled him away. They limped back to the Falcon as quickly as they could, strength cut down by half. 

"I...can't fly...arm numb..." Poe was sweating and pale, curls plastered to his forehead. "Finn...the detonators..." "

Oh yeah!" Finn grabbed the remote out of his pocket and held it as low to the ground as he could. "Force, I hope this works." He clicked the button. They heard a muffled boom, and the ground shook. 

Poe turned to Kylo, looking slightly more at ease knowing his plan had worked. "You have to fly," he said, staring Kylo straight in the eyes. "I know you can." 

Kylo's stomach dropped, but he did his best to square his shoulders and look confident for Poe. "I'll be next to you, but I can't man the stick with my arm like this. Go. Now!" They rushed up the gangplank and closed the hatch as troops began streaming over the edge of the cliff carrying anti-aircraft cannons. Kylo transferred Rey to Finn's arms and put his shoulder under Poe's uninjured arm, helping him to the copilot's chair. 

"All set down here," Finn's voice crackled in from the gunner's station. "Rey's strapped in safely in the bunks." 

"Ignition's right there," Poe gestured with his chin, but Kylo already knew what to do. He punched the igniter, easing up on the throttle as he did so. Then he threw the throttle forward quickly, causing the engines to flare up and blow some of the Stormtroopers back from the cannons they were setting up. 

Poe nodded approvingly. "It'll be quicker to leave out over the base. Watch out for fire." Kylo began prepping the engines to get to exit velocity, all the lessons from his father that he had thought useless flooding back. Prime fuel cells. Watch out for the faulty low-speed coupler. The Millennium Falcon soared across the valley, deftly avoiding rock outcroppings and signal antennae. But no anti-aircraft fire came from the base. 

And now Poe saw why. They were trapped in a laser force field whose bars stretched far into the atmosphere. The green fence of lasers blocked their way of escape--either it would slice the ship into pieces or trap them until the First Order could capture them at their leisure. And with the state they had left the base in, Poe was certain they wouldn't be particularly sympathetic to their prisoners. He swore. "We'll need to try for a vertical takeoff. It's not ideal, but it's our only hope." 

"This ship doesn't have the low-speed engine power for that!" Kylo neatly avoided a blast of fire from the troops in the woods. "We'd stall for sure!" 

"There's no other option!" Poe shouted. 

"Yes, there is..." Kylo narrowed his eyes, calculating. He nodded. And threw the throttle forward, heading directly for the laser fence. 

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Poe tried to stand, but lost his balance and fell back into his seat. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" 

"TRUST ME!" Kylo spun around to face Poe, eyes blazing. "PLEASE!" Poe bit his lip, and nodded.

Kylo turned back to the viewport, accelerating with everything the ship had. The fence approached faster and faster, the hum from the emitters making the hair on the back of their necks stand up. Kylo moved his lips silently, counting. The fence loomed larger and larger. He felt a hand on his shoulder. Han's. Kylo felt a preternatural calm fall upon him. He exhaled. Then he threw the stick left, turning the disc-shaped ship on its side. They flew through the bars of the laser fence, cutting off the satellite dish in the process. Kylo flattened out and gunned the low-speed engines again, tilting the nose up towards the sky. Poe, who had closed his eyes, reopened them and started shouting wordlessly, a carthartic scream. Finn started whooping from the overcom, yelling that he knew they could do it, they were out! Kylo punched the hyperdrive and sent them speeding away from Dirama, back to safety. Poe nodded at Kylo. "Never doubted you." He ran his uninjured hand down his face. "I'm gonna go try and stop bleeding out." He left the cockpit and found Finn waiting just outside with bandages and painkillers. They headed into the main hold.

Kylo sat silently, staring at the stars as they flew past. Would Han really have forgiven him? He leaned back and covered his face in his hands. That same calm washed over him again, full of warmth and...a hint of regret? Then the feeling left. Kylo smiled, feeling the prick of tears at his eyes. He regretted too. But he was going to make up for it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *guy at a bar voice* Play Free Bird!

The Resistance sickbay found itself with four new occupants: three injured and one who refused to leave their sides. Finn spent his waking hours watching over his friends as they healed, bringing them outside entertainment and news. Poe's shoulder recovered fairly quickly under the watchful eyes of the medical droids, although he now had a scar that he would show off to anyone who would look. Finn watched helplessly as time after time Poe pulled his collar down over his arm and told the increasingly impressive story of how he had tackled three Stormtroopers at once and had gotten shot as he wrestled the plans out of an officer's hands. The necks of his shirts were starting to get stretched out from all the showing off.

Kylo, meanwhile, had only remembered that his ribs were broken when he stepped off the Falcon and blacked out from breathing too shallowly, managing to hold onto and protect Rey as he stumbled and fell onto the tarmac. He insisted that he was fine, that Knights of Ren didn't feel pain, but Leia sat him down and handcuffed him to a cot until he would accept treatment. Kylo finally folded and could be seen skulking around the sickbay in sweatpants and bare feet, a compression bandage wrapped around his torso and plasters all over his face.

Rey, after a good day and night's sleep, finally regained her strength and thanks to several blood transfusions and twenty-three stitches was soon on road to recovery. Kylo's healing had fixed the fracture without a trace, so she only had to wait for her puncture wound to recover. Although the two were both stuck waiting together, they had wound up on opposite sleep schedules by accident. Rey wanted to talk to Kylo, but he always seemed to be asleep when she was awake, curled up on a too-small cot under a soft red blanket of Leia's, bare shoulders nearly the same color as the white sheets. And even though Kylo desperately wanted to tell Rey...tell her how he felt, he had to content himself with reading "The Silmarillion" by her bedside as she slept, humming softy as she burrowed into her pillows.

Rey was finally discharged, but was immediately sent a summons from Luke. She wanted to stay behind and catch up with her friends (and make sure that Kylo was getting enough entertainment so he wouldn't try to throttle a medical droid), but an apprenticeship was an apprenticeship, and she begrudgingly set off for Ahch-To. Luke was waiting for her when she touched down, and as she stepped off the gangway he met her there. "Actually, we're going on a bit of a field trip today," Luke said with a cryptic smile. "I heard you lost your staff in your brave assault on the new First Order headquarters. But don't worry. I think I have a solution." 

Luke punched the coordinates into the navigation system as he sat next to Rey, and she accelerated into orbit. "The Unknown Regions?" she asked in surprise. 

Luke watched the viewport as they entered hyperspace. "The ice planet Ilum is a sacred site to the Jedi. Deep within the planet grow Force-attuned crystals known as Kyber crystals. As a rite of passage in the Old Jedi Order, young padawans would delve down into these caves and harvest the crystals. And with the crystal as the core power source, each padawan would build their lightsaber."

Rey said nothing, but inside she was awash with excitement. There was nothing more that she wanted than to build her very own lightsaber, and to do it the way that the Jedi of old did it, no less! "How do I know which crystal to take? Where do I find them? How do I build a lightsaber? Does the crystal emit its own power source or is there an emitter that focuses--" 

Luke chuckled. "I'll tell you more once we get there. And as for choosing a crystal, don't worry. It will call out to you." Rey nodded and bounced eagerly in her seat. They couldn't arrive at Ilum soon enough.

The Falcon finally touched down, and Rey was down the gangplank nearly before the engines had stopped. Luke followed at a more sedate pace, glad to see how enthusiastic his apprentice was. He laid a hand on her shoulder and directed her attention to a dark crevice in the earth a few yards away. "It will be dark. Use your Force-sense to move around, and try to feel the presence of the crystals. You'll know when you've found yours, but it may take a while. Just be patient." Rey nodded. She walked forward in measured steps, and was quickly swallowed by the darkness of the cave.

Rey waved a hand in front of her eyes, but could see nothing in the inky black. It almost felt as though the void was pressing in on her eyes, a physical substance instead of the absence of one. She gave up and closed her eyes, reaching out with the Force. The dim outline of the cave came to her, and she paced carefully forward between stalagmites and stalactites. The walls seemed to be porous, covered in small holes. Most of these were empty, but a few contained small angular objects. These called out to Rey, although none of them felt stronger than the others. She decided to keep moving, feeling her way carefully through a passage that led on to the next chamber.

The next few chambers held very few crystals, and none of these called to Rey. But she persisted, and soon came to a small side chamber that branched off the main line. The holes in this chamber were few and far between, but near the very back Rey felt a strong presence. She knelt to the floor and reached into the hole from which the presence was emanating. Her fingers closed around a cold prism, glassy and sharp-edged. It sent a shock up her arm--not unpleasant, but stunning in its strength. Rey knew this was it. She stood carefully, placing the crystal in her belt pouch. Walking carefully, she emerged blinking from the cave and returned to her master, who was meditating on a stone outside.

"How long was I gone?" she asked, noticing the position of the sun had changed. 

"About two hours," said Luke, eyes still closed. 

Rey was surprised; it had only felt like fifteen minutes. "Well," she said, extricating the crystal from her satchel. "What's next?" 

Luke stood and led Rey to a small stone building she hadn't noticed before. "This is Ilum's Jedi temple. Once the padawans had collected their crystals, they would come here to assemble the necessary structures to direct the power of their lightsaber. Which is exactly what you're going to do now."

The inside of the temple was austere, but it provided shelter from the cold winds outside. They entered a corridor that led into the temple's one main room, and Rey noticed that although the building must have been unoccupied for at least sixty years, there wasn't a speck of dust on the surfaces or a single crack in any of the walls. The corridor opened up, and Rey found herself in a high-ceilinged room with natural light pouring in through the glassless windows. The walls were simply adorned with geometric carvings, and an altar stood upon a platform in the center of the room. "A lightsaber's mechanisms need to be within precise specifications to withstand the kind of energy they wield, so the Jedi had parts manufactured and brought here for apprentices to assemble." Luke gestured to the shelves along the back of the room. "Lucky for us, they left those parts behind, and the temple was well-hidden enough to avoid being looted. So go ahead, figure out what you want for your lightsaber. Leia has told me that your training with Kylo has gone well, so I trust that you know what will suit your fighting style. Bring the parts up here to the altar, and I'll help you put them together." 

Rey looked at the crystal--colorless, warm from the heat of her hand--and strode over to the altar, placing it carefully in the center of the stone surface. She walked to the shelves, perusing the parts she found there. Of course, she had enjoyed fencing with Kylo (had she? She suddenly realized how much she looked forward to those training sessions. Weird.) but what she really missed was fighting with a staff. The movements were smoother, there was more leverage...an idea came to her. Quickly she looked around to see if her design was even possible, and then began grabbing parts and gathering them into her arms. She ran back to the altar beaming, dropped off her load, and went back. A coupler here, a switch there...Finally, she stood at the altar and surveyed her pile. With deft movements, she laid out each piece in its position, diagramming her design. Luke watched with interest over her shoulder--it was clear that this was not going to be an average lightsaber. Rey finished, straightened one more piece, and stepped back to survey her handiwork. The parts for a double-ended lightsaber lay on the stone before them, with a long hilt and two emitter matrices.

"I'm impressed," Luke said, smiling almost boyishly. "That complements your fighting style perfectly, and it seems like it will even be a good size. Nimble enough for close quarters fights, but with a lot of reach. Let's put it together." Luke positioned Rey's hands over the parts, and then raised his own. He nodded to her, and together they focused the Force on the lightsaber's components. They rose up and began to slot together, fusing at joints and glowing slightly. The crystal was fit into place last of all, shining like a miniature sun. And then the glow faded, and the newly formed lightsaber sank down to rest on the stone in front of Rey. She reached for it with trembling hands. "The first time a Jedi ignites their lightsaber is when it gains its color as well," said Luke. "Ready?" Rey nodded, and flipped the switch. The blades ignited from both ends of the hilt, throwing their glow across the stones of the temple. Purple.

Luke scratched his beard. "Interesting. Purple lightsabers come to those with a connection to both sides of the Force, the Light...and the Dark. Have you...?" He looked troubled. 

Rey hung her head. "I used the Dark Side on the base to knock out some Stormtroopers that were in our way. I'm so sorry." 

Luke began pacing, eyes fixed on the lightsaber. "One simple Dark Side trick wouldn't be enough to change the color of someone's lightsaber, someone's aura. Don't worry about that at all, Rey. Only an enduring connection to both sides of the Force could have determined this. A connection..." 

Suddenly, it dawned on Rey. Then it hit her like a ton of bricks. A connection. She saw the forest again, lying on her back in the afternoon sun, laughing. She saw Kylo's pale face, radiantly reflecting the light filtering though the trees. And then later, on the ship. She saw him curled up on the couch, telling her deliriously and sweetly about how he saw the Force. Duality. "Anything for you". She saw him covered in blood and with tear tracks on his cheeks, ready to murder someone who even threatened to hurt her. And she saw him lying in the hospital wing this morning, a mass of opposites: dark hair, light skin, dark past, light present, dark emotion, light intention. Good and evil and solace and chaos and human, just like his songs said. And Rey fell for it, all of it, the good and the bad, standing in the ancient temple of an order that did its best to reject emotion. She felt love sweep through her, and excitement and nervousness and fear and happiness all at once. It felt like a punch to the gut. Her lightsaber flared in brightness. 

Luke began to chuckle. "Well, I believe I might have a theory, anyway. And Rey," he paused, and looked at the walls. "We try to be good people and do what is right. But right does not necessarily correspond to the Light Side. The Light Side loves order, and sometimes we need a little chaos. A little emotion. I believe a certain young man back with the Resistance would agree with me." Luke smiled. "We are Jedi, but that which caused the original Jedi to fall was their rejection of love. Don't make that same mistake again." Rey managed a small smile and turned off her lightsaber. Her heart was beating like she had just finished a fencing match. She clipped it to her belt, where it hung reassuringly like an old friend. Luke began to leave the building. "Take me back to Ahch-To, and then feel free to return to D'Qar. You've earned a weekend off."

***

From: poehotdameron@resistance.it  
To: finn2187@resistance.it, reythebae@resistance.it, kyl0r3n@resistance.it

My esteemed colleagues:

It has come to my attention that you don't have birthdays. Apparently they don't store that kind of data for Stormtroopers, and we know literally nothing about the lovely Rey. So I have a proposition. My own birthday approaches rapidly, and I would be most delighted to share it with those unfortunate enough to not have one. I guess you can come too, Ren. We sort of think you're okay. Anyway, a night of video games and junk food awaits you Saturday if you're feeling brave enough to take it on. Got some movies as well. Anybody know anything about this "Lord of the Rings" series? General Organa recommended them.

See you then,  
Poe Hot Dameron, this is my jam-eron

***

Rey's stomach twisted itself into knots as she approached D'Qar in the Falcon. Should she go visit Kylo in the sickbay? Could she hide her newfound feelings well enough for that? Seeing as her fingers fumbled to perform even the most basic tasks at this point, Rey felt fairly sure that it wouldn't even take the Force for someone to notice something was up. She touched down on the tarmac, gathered her things (new lightsaber still clipped to her belt in its place of honor) and walked as slowly as she could make herself back to her room, where she promptly locked the door, threw herself onto the bed, and did her best not to think about Kylo with his long fingered hands and dark brown eyes and jacket that only served to accentuate the broadness of his shoulders and...

Kylo himself was gripped in a similar turmoil. Since his release from the sickbay, he had been pacing the halls of the base, trying to gather up the courage to talk to Rey. His pining had gone on long enough, and since she had jumped off a bridge for him he was fairly certain that she didn't hate him. But still, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Kylo found himself outside the door he knew to be Rey's. He raised his hand, nearly knocked--then lost the nerve and stormed back to his own room, burying himself in blankets and reading about the trials of the Noldor in their fight against Melkor until his own troubles seemed far away.

***

Saturday night arrived. Kylo dug his favorite cowl-neck sweatshirt out of the piles of laundry on his floor, and pulled on the pajama pants that Poe had somehow managed to rescue from the First Order base. That crazy pilot. Kylo shook his head, smiling, and gathered up the bags of snacks he had been able to swipe from the mess hall. Finn opened the door for him with a grin, and led him into the sitting room, which had been kitted out with string lights and--were those lava lamps? "This is so cool!" he said, using the Force to mess with the melted wax inside the lamps. 

"It's about to get a whole lot better." Poe held up one of the guitars that Kylo had bought the day of their shopping trip. "Remember these? I've been practicing a bit." 

"Have you learned how to hold it the right way up?" 

Poe looked injured. "Of course. A musical connoisseur like myself is nothing if not a master of holding instruments the right way." Kylo bit his lip to keep from laughing; Poe was currently holding the guitar by the base of the body. 

A knock came at the door, and Finn jumped up to admit a grinning Rey decked out in knee high socks, plaid flannel shorts, and a BB-8 t shirt; she held two liter bottles of soda and carried a bag of chips and a jar of salsa under her chin. Kylo moved to help her with her burden, and as he did she made a quick, nervous second of eye contact with him. Then it was gone, and she was back to laughing and joking as usual. This unsettled Kylo, but he shook it off and rejoined the party. With four players, they could finally hold a proper Mario Kart tournament, and a couple hours later found them still at it, Rey shouting curses at Poe as he lapped her for the second time. Although she was a skilled pilot, for Rey that did not seem to transfer over to the game. 

"Well, that was fun," said Poe, panting after his victory lap. 

"For you," said Kylo, panting after having chased Poe around the room in anger for a solid two minutes. 

"No more Mario Kart," Rey groaned, staring at her character in 11th place. "Don't we have anything else?" 

"Call of Duty, Call of Duty..." Finn began to chant, practically leaping towards the box that stored their game collection. 

Poe tackled him around the waist. "NEVER AGAIN." He sat up and fluffed his hair. Finn groaned, as Poe was still sitting on top of him. "I think," said Poe with a glint in his eye, "it's time to break out the Guitar Hero." 

Now it was Kylo diving for the box, grabbing the disc and controllers. "Yes oh my Force finally."

They decided to name their band "The Resistance," since none of them was very good at naming and Kylo's suggestion of "The Black Plagueis" was unanimously rejected. Poe and Finn went up first, and managed to stumble their way through the first song on the setlist, although Kylo had to remind them several times that yes, you have to press the frets and strum at the same time, that's how a real guitar works. The pairing of Poe and Rey fared better, although mostly because Rey had a good instinct for how the chord progressions worked. Poe was still fairly miserable. Kylo and Finn went up, and since they were set to easy, Kylo easily got a perfect score. Looked like those piano lessons he had taken as a little kid were still knocking around in his brain somewhere. They found that pairing one of the more inept players with Rey or Kylo was the best way to move forward, and for the next few hours they got better and better as they enjoyed the classic rock of whatever the 80s, 90s and 00s were. When "Dead!" by My Chemical Romance came up, Kylo all but fell over head banging along, and yet still managed to only make one mistake on hard mode. Poe, with his tongue stuck out and eyes locked on the screen, managed to get a 60%. On easy. On the bass line. Gerard Way would have been disgusted.

They reached the halfway point of career mode at about 11:00, Poe throwing down his guitar in exhaustion after having his ass kicked by "Sweet Child O' Mine." "I'm gonna sit this round out. Somebody take my spot." Kylo scrolled down to the next level. A classic. "Free Bird," by Lynrd Skynrd. He decided to go for Expert Mode, since he knew the song by heart. One of Han's favorites, and one of the few things they could agree on. He turned to Finn and said, "Take the rhythm guitar--this one has a killer solo."

Except Rey was standing there instead of Finn, staring resolutely ahead. Kylo turned to stare ahead as well, much stiffer than he had been before. As the song started, he began to miss notes in earnest for the first time. No, they couldn't lose. He had a perfect record so far, and Poe would never let him hear the end of it if he fucked up because he was nervous around Rey. Kylo closed his eyes, and listened to the song. "But if I stayed here with you, girl,/ Things just couldn't be the same./ 'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,/ And this bird you can not change." He felt the rhythm come back to him, and let the music guide his fingers, barely even watching the screen. Poe and Finn watched in amazement as Kylo caught every note precisely, with Rey doing almost as well on Hard mode. Then the tempo began to pick up.

Kylo smiled and widened his stance, preparing for the solo. Rey followed his lead, eyes growing wide as the screen filled with notes for them to hit. Her fingers flew across the buttons of the guitar, frantically playing the melody as Kylo's line went on a hardcore solo. They moved as one, feeling the beat and their intertwining lines of music, totally in the zone. "Won't you fly, high, free bird?" The song ended in a crescendo of guitar riffs, which both managed to hit perfectly. The screen showed an explosion, the words "You Rock!" The computerized crowd went wild. Rey dropped her guitar. And before she fully knew what she was doing, she ran over to Kylo, pulled his face down to her level, and kissed him full on the mouth. 

Kylo had been watching their characters be abducted by aliens for rocking so hard, and so was entirely unprepared for Rey's actions. His eyes opened wide in shock--he glanced over to Finn and Poe, who looked just as shocked as he did. And then it sunk in what was happening, and Kylo closed his eyes and pulled Rey close to him and kissed her back like he might never get to do this again. Finn was just wondering if Jedi and Sith didn't need to breathe as much as normal people did when they finally broke apart. Suddenly, Rey was shy, staring studiedly at the lava lamp to her left, but Kylo couldn't stop staring at her, dumbstruck. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," came his thought, loud and clear, and he blushed beet red when Rey looked back at him and started laughing hysterically. Poe and Finn looked at each other, unsure whether the world had suddenly gone insane. "I think that's a good stopping place," said Poe a little too loudly. "Who's up for a movie?" 

***

12:00 am, and "The Fellowship of the Ring" was in full swing. Poe and Finn watched, riveted, shoveling down popcorn like it was their occupation, occasionally throwing pieces at the viewscreen when Boromir did something annoying. Poe was beginning to feel a little defensive about his hair in relation to Legolas's, but he consoled himself with the knowledge that it was a wig. Meanwhile, things were a little quieter on the other side of the couch. Rey and Kylo sat side by side, Rey softly asking questions and Kylo explaining in far too much detail--he was a total Tolkien geek. Somehow, their fingers had wound up intertwined, and they felt no great hurry to separate them. Rey pulled a stray bit of popcorn out of Kylo's hair and laughed, sleepy and slap-happy and cozy against the warm body next to her. She laid her head on his shoulder, and he smiled in happiness. The room was twilight: not too bright, but still lit by the glow of the string lights. And as Kylo and Rey somehow managed to drop off to sleep during the dramatic scenes in the mines of Moria (Poe upended an entire bag of chips and jumped into Finn's lap in fear when the drums started), they thought together that it was perfect--a little dark, a little light, just perfect.


End file.
